Doubt in Mahabharat
In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching the Mahabharat katha to class 6 students. He is at the 'krishnajanma' part of it.
Masterji: "Kamsa heard the akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going to kill him. He was furious. He ordered to put vasudev n devki behind the bars.
First son is born, and kamsa kills him by poisoning...
Second one is born n kansa throws him off the mountain peak.
Third one is born..."
Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand. Masterji, I have a doubt (sounding nervous n confused)
Masterji: "Ramu bete, whole india does not have doubt in mahabharata then how come u have one?"
Ramu : Masterji, if Kamsa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to Kill him, WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL ?
Masterji fainted.........................
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Monday, March 14, 2005
Thirupacchi - An Ultimate Review
V have never got a sequel in tamil movies as compared to Hollywood movies...
But here is one...
"Thirupacchi" - Bagavathi Part II.
There is a scene in the movie - 'Maganadigan' where a director ll b telling a story to Sathyaraj (with that 'Dubbatta Dubbatta' song). Sathyaraj'll refuse to act in that movie. But that Lucky chance was then offered to Vijay.
Now the Story.......
our Vijay is an "Aruva maker" near tirupacchi, has a 'pasamalar' kind sister. She has no costume designer for the movie. So, she ll wearing only Vijay's Nike shirts.... Only in tamil movies.... even pattikkattu heroes ll b wearing such kind of stuff.
Whenever these come in one frame, music ll automatically start.... 'lalala....lala...lalala'.
Ok, back to the story. Vijay wants his sister to be married to a city guy only and gets an idiot from chennai. Vijay comes along with the married couple to chennai.
as u expect Trisha is the next door gal, will fall in love with the Hero (Who wants the reasons after all).
I wonder what Trisha if for in the movie!!! She just whips in with a couple of useless dialogs trying to suggest vijay ( the real hero of the movie ) that she is the heroine in the movie. However her wardrobe is quite good and she looks fine......She made all that of her's dance in the very worthy song " appan panna thappulae ". hats off to perarusu who has used tamil verbal skills in a prolofic way to give us such a phiosophical song!
Cut the story there......
Introduction of Villains (saniyan sagadai, pattasu balu, panparag ravi). Each one of them rule different parts of Chennai (North, South, Middle) and has different manerisms.
Pattasu balu (played by Pasupathi) ll kill his oppenents by using crackers. (Our Hero ll spoil it once by using water just like that)
Panparag Ravi (new villain) ll kill his oppenents by using Cockroach sprayer. (our hero uses the same thing to kill him)
n the ultimate Saniyan Sagadai (thotta sennivasarao) ll kill his oppenents by using his dialogues itself. (our hero ll also give some 'Punch' dialogues b4 killing him).
Continuation of Story....
Our Hero gets shocked by the gundas in chennai, worries for his sister's life and gets his friend killed by one of the villain. (They ll project Chennai as dangerous as Iraq n Afghanistan)
Vijay sends back his pregnant sister to his village and promises his sister's child (unborn) to bring back peace(......!) in Chennai b4 his birth.
Finally as u all expect he kills all the villains in Chennai and hugs Trisha (they ll show only that 1). Police ll happily celebrate New Year.
and inbetween all these there are 5 fights, 6 songs, 1000000 sentiment scenes.
Before killing the villains Vijay ll give a punch Dialogue... 'Idhu kolai alla.... VADHAM'. These dialogue also suits the movie... 'Idhu padam alla.... VADHAM'
"Thirupacchi" - Blade illa Aruva..........
Guys... I prefer u to watch this movie if U,
1. Have donated a lot to Tsunami... and have lot of money n donno what to do with that.
2. Want to see a 200% comedy movie.
3. feel that 'Sullan', 'Bagavathi', 'Red' r the worst movie ever made.
4. are a Ajith Fan.
But here is one...
"Thirupacchi" - Bagavathi Part II.
There is a scene in the movie - 'Maganadigan' where a director ll b telling a story to Sathyaraj (with that 'Dubbatta Dubbatta' song). Sathyaraj'll refuse to act in that movie. But that Lucky chance was then offered to Vijay.
Now the Story.......
our Vijay is an "Aruva maker" near tirupacchi, has a 'pasamalar' kind sister. She has no costume designer for the movie. So, she ll wearing only Vijay's Nike shirts.... Only in tamil movies.... even pattikkattu heroes ll b wearing such kind of stuff.
Whenever these come in one frame, music ll automatically start.... 'lalala....lala...lalala'.
Ok, back to the story. Vijay wants his sister to be married to a city guy only and gets an idiot from chennai. Vijay comes along with the married couple to chennai.
as u expect Trisha is the next door gal, will fall in love with the Hero (Who wants the reasons after all).
I wonder what Trisha if for in the movie!!! She just whips in with a couple of useless dialogs trying to suggest vijay ( the real hero of the movie ) that she is the heroine in the movie. However her wardrobe is quite good and she looks fine......She made all that of her's dance in the very worthy song " appan panna thappulae ". hats off to perarusu who has used tamil verbal skills in a prolofic way to give us such a phiosophical song!
Cut the story there......
Introduction of Villains (saniyan sagadai, pattasu balu, panparag ravi). Each one of them rule different parts of Chennai (North, South, Middle) and has different manerisms.
Pattasu balu (played by Pasupathi) ll kill his oppenents by using crackers. (Our Hero ll spoil it once by using water just like that)
Panparag Ravi (new villain) ll kill his oppenents by using Cockroach sprayer. (our hero uses the same thing to kill him)
n the ultimate Saniyan Sagadai (thotta sennivasarao) ll kill his oppenents by using his dialogues itself. (our hero ll also give some 'Punch' dialogues b4 killing him).
Continuation of Story....
Our Hero gets shocked by the gundas in chennai, worries for his sister's life and gets his friend killed by one of the villain. (They ll project Chennai as dangerous as Iraq n Afghanistan)
Vijay sends back his pregnant sister to his village and promises his sister's child (unborn) to bring back peace(......!) in Chennai b4 his birth.
Finally as u all expect he kills all the villains in Chennai and hugs Trisha (they ll show only that 1). Police ll happily celebrate New Year.
and inbetween all these there are 5 fights, 6 songs, 1000000 sentiment scenes.
Before killing the villains Vijay ll give a punch Dialogue... 'Idhu kolai alla.... VADHAM'. These dialogue also suits the movie... 'Idhu padam alla.... VADHAM'
"Thirupacchi" - Blade illa Aruva..........
Guys... I prefer u to watch this movie if U,
1. Have donated a lot to Tsunami... and have lot of money n donno what to do with that.
2. Want to see a 200% comedy movie.
3. feel that 'Sullan', 'Bagavathi', 'Red' r the worst movie ever made.
4. are a Ajith Fan.
SOME QUOTES ON MARRIED LIFE
HI THERE.......
THESE R SOME QUOTES ON MARRIED LIFE..........(100% for Fun only!no way related with my ATTITUDE)
HAV FUN READING IT...............
All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems
The difference between marriage and death?- Dead people are free
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book
My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it.
My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them.My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!
Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them.
Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced.
Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry
Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife& sharks for the wife's mother
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. – Socrates
There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.
Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence
THESE R SOME QUOTES ON MARRIED LIFE..........(100% for Fun only!no way related with my ATTITUDE)
HAV FUN READING IT...............
All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems
The difference between marriage and death?- Dead people are free
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book
My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it.
My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them.My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!
Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them.
Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced.
Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry
Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife& sharks for the wife's mother
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. – Socrates
There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.
Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence
Thursday, March 10, 2005
marketing concepts
Professor at IIM A was explaining marketing concepts:
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.You go up to her and say, "I am very rich.Marry me!" That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's very rich.Marry him."That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say "Hi,I'm very rich.Marry me." That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say,"By the way, I'm very rich.Will you marry me?" That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says,"You are very rich.." That's Brand Recognition.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm rich.Marry me" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.That's Customer Feedback !!!!!
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am very rich.Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband.That's demand and supply gap.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say, "I am very rich.Marry me!" she turns her face towards you ...............................................she is your wife !That's competition eating into your market share.
The Do's And Don'ts For All Zodiac Signs
The Do's And Don'ts For All Zodiac Signs
Aries (March 21 to April 20)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Aries are naturally active and vibrant people and they tend to like such people too. You will have to increase your pace to be in step with them. They like and appreciate frank and straightforward persons. With them you can be your true self (but don't try your luck being over frank-they are volatile). If you are in love with an Arien, then you have to show your enthusiasm in all their activities (you can always yawn later!).
DON'TS
Do not tell an may Aries that s/he may be wrong. Any such statement stir a storm in a teacup. Aries are very faithful and passionate lovers. Do not give air to the smouldering fire within them by making them jealous. No flirtation or fooling around with others in their presence unless of course you wish to write your death wish (you will be granted!).
Taurus (April 21 to May 21)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Stability and dependability characterise Taurus. They like people who can blend and grow with them. If you have a Taurus partner you should appreciate all things bright and beautiful. They have an inherent artistic sense and are fond of colour and music. Judge life with them from a purely materialistic point of view. Enjoy everything luxurious that money can provide. Enjoy good food (better if you can cook to please them) and good drinks with them.
DON'TS
Taurus do not loose their temper easily (in fact you may spend the whole life with them and still no spark) but you should not push your luck too much. Being unreasonable or aggressive with them may get you into trouble. Do not press him/her into a corner, and if you do, be prepared for a violent rage. Taurus is capable of violent outbursts though such an event is is very rare occasions. They can be suffocating when they are possessive about you.
Gemini (May 22 to June 21)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Gemini is a highly intellectual and versatile person. If you have a Gemini partner you have to match your wits with his/her wits to keep the zing in the relationship. They want to be mentally stimulated so you have to be good at conversing. Your sense of humour will get you a permanent residence in the heart of a Gemini. Be more communicative with them, and if you are good at this, you will never know how hours pass by holding each other's hand.
DON'TS
Gemini's like to do many things at the same time, so if unfortunately you are the type who is looking for stability you may get disappointed. Do not hold back a Gemini or you may lose him/her, as they are restless and need change in life constantly. You should try to adopt yourself with the ever-changing Gemini. Orthodox or conservative old fashion ideas are no-no in their dictionary. Change with the ever-changing Gemini and do not flow against the current.
Cancer (June 22 to July 22)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Try to adapt yourself with the changing moods of the Cancer. At one moment they may be laughing and enjoying and in another they may sulk. You may have to adjust with the moody and sensitive Cancer. They are like the tides in the ocean, always fluctuating. Cancerians love food, so if you know how to cook and can be poetic and romantic (added Bonus) then you know the way to their heart.
DON'TS
Cancerians are very sensitive people and can get easily hurt. So do not play with their emotions and sentiments. They are like tides that can sweep you along. They form emotional bonds with even inanimate things, so do not ask them to discard old caps or souvenirs. Such things hold special meaning to them. You have to realise that the crabs have a soft heart and are vulnerable. Do not contradict their tested line of thought and action, it would only lead to confusion.
Leo (July 23 to August 23)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
If you have Leo partner respect him and his majestic manners. Accept the advice of Leo, the lion, as he is the king of the jungle. It is the sign of a showman, so if your partner does everything in grand style enjoy it. They fall easily for flattery and want to be centre of attraction of all eyes (sometimes they can be quiet theatrical too).
DON'TS
Never ever hurt the ego of a Leo. Pride, ego and vanity are some of the bags Leo's always carry with them. Do not touch these bags. An authoritative Leo is even more difficult to handle in such circumstances. Leo is a sunny sign so they do not like people who are gloomy or depressed. Even if you are crying at heart keep a sunny smile on your lips and then let the lion take charge and remove all worries from your life.
Virgo (August 24 to September 22)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Virgo's are very methodical and have a great sense of duty. Howver, they are blind to their own faults. So, if you have a Virgo partner emphasise more on their qualities. Take keen interest in what they are doing and you will realise that they will go out of their way to help you. Do rely and appreciate their mental powers rather than their physical powers. They can turn even an unsuccessful venture into a success.
DON'TS
Do not push a Virgo into limelight or on the centre stage unless of course they do so on their own. They are shy and reserved by nature and do not like to be the cynosure of all eyes. Virgo's have secrets that they would not like to bring out in the open. So, even if you have the key to their secret skeleton-closet, hide it; do not even admit that you know anything about it. Virgo, the virgins, do not want to tarnish their public image.
Libra (September 23 to October 23)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Librans need peace and harmony in all their relationships, so help them maintain that. Venus, the ruling planet, gives them beauty and they have weakness for people who can compliment them about their beauty (you will not have to make an effort to do that anyway). You can help Libra seek union and partnership in life. If you have a Libra partner you can be sure to share beautiful and pleasurable moments together.
DON'TS
Libra is kind and gentle soul but very argumentative. Hence, do not start an argument or discussion unless, of course, you are free and do not know how to pass your time. They hate to lose and most probably during an argument may change sides too (remember scales can tilt) and still continue arguing from the other side. Do not push your Libra partner into making decisions. They will keep weighing pros and cons and may still not be able to come to any decision. Have patience !
Scorpio (October 24 to November 22)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Scorpio's are full of passion and zest for life. They have tremendous drive that can involve you too. Tune in to their wavelength and you can enjoy the harmony and music of life with them. Scorpio's are loyal and never forget a kind deed done by you. If you want to enjoy life with your Scorpio lover, share their passion and intensity and you will be fascinated by how beautiful life can be with them.
DON'TS
Scorpio's are very passionate and intense but they are also fiercely possessive and would like to possess your mind, body and soul. Do not let seeds of jealousy grow in them because then you may have to suffer agonies of jealousy and discontentment in life. Scorpio's have explosive tempers be careful how you handle them. They never let anyone know what is going on in their mind till they strike and you may be caught unawares. Do not flirt around in the presence of your Scorpio lover.
Sagittarius (November 23 to December 21)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Sagittarius is basically a happy go lucky kind. You can enjoy with them their zest and enthusiasm for life. They bubble with excitement. And if you share the same interests and hobbies, life can be great fun together. They are frank and straightforward so if you want some truthful opinion about anything or anyone go to them. Be optimistic as they are and view life as glass half full.
DON'TS
Sagittarius is fiercely independent and cannot tolerate restriction. Hence, do not try to hold them back in life. Let them enjoy their freedom because if you hold any special place in their heart they will always come back for you. Do not feel irritated by the exaggeration in their speech. They may go on and on, talking about certain things that may not even interest you, but its their way of trying to communicate with you. They are basically frank and outspoken (to the point of being rude), so do not feel offended by their talks.
Capricorn (December 22 to January 20)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Capricornians are strong and dependable. Hence, if you want to put your money on anyone it is of course this zodiac sign. They are practical and conservative in their outlook and they expect you to blend in their colour. They set certain standards for themselves in their life and they will always try to maintain those standards. For them social status and image is very important in life.
DON'TS
Do not expect a Capricorn mate to open his/her heart and pour everything to you. They are very secretive and reserved people. They are very thorough in all their affairs and hate any kind of sloppiness. People born under this zodiac are very tight-fisted and economical. Do not expect lavish gifts from them and if they do give you any gift (that is very rare) it will have some practical use (no romance please) but that does not mean you will be deprived of anything; on the contrary you will be well provided.
Aquarius (January 21 to February 19)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Aquarius are friendly and fascinating people. They have in-depth knowledge about various subjects and you can converse with them for hours without getting bored. They are capable of giving a lot of love that can be amazing. They have a very broad outlook of life and you can relax in their presence. They will always welcome your ideas and actions about humanitarian causes. To keep an Aquarius lover interested you must possess that mysterious and intriguing quality. Once hooked they will always be very faithful to you.
DON'TS
Do not expect or plan a normal, simple and predictable life with an Aquarius partner. Aquarians are totally unpredictable. They can go to any direction without giving any advance notice. They are basically very restless and get bored easily. Though they are very friendly, do not expect them to reveal their inner most feelings to you (they never will). They can be detached and impersonal, which may seem strange to others.
Pisces (February 20 to March 20)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Pisceans are sensitive and charming. If you are looking for someone who is understanding and can understand your feelings then you have met the right person. You should appreciate their feelings too, as in your time of need they are sure to help you. Pisces have a keenly developed sixth sense and have great intuitive powers. Their hunches may usually be right on mark. But they can exhaust their physical and mental energies. They are born dreamers and you can build palaces with your dream lover (only in real life it may become a little difficult preposition).
DON'TS
Pisces are dreamers and you should not expect them to have worldly ambitions. They are not materialistic in nature. It is not that they like living below the poverty line but they have no earnest desire to accumulate wealth. They are very sensitive and you have to be always careful about their feelings. The fishes are capable of drowning you in their tears (even men born under this sign).
Aries (March 21 to April 20)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Aries are naturally active and vibrant people and they tend to like such people too. You will have to increase your pace to be in step with them. They like and appreciate frank and straightforward persons. With them you can be your true self (but don't try your luck being over frank-they are volatile). If you are in love with an Arien, then you have to show your enthusiasm in all their activities (you can always yawn later!).
DON'TS
Do not tell an may Aries that s/he may be wrong. Any such statement stir a storm in a teacup. Aries are very faithful and passionate lovers. Do not give air to the smouldering fire within them by making them jealous. No flirtation or fooling around with others in their presence unless of course you wish to write your death wish (you will be granted!).
Taurus (April 21 to May 21)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Stability and dependability characterise Taurus. They like people who can blend and grow with them. If you have a Taurus partner you should appreciate all things bright and beautiful. They have an inherent artistic sense and are fond of colour and music. Judge life with them from a purely materialistic point of view. Enjoy everything luxurious that money can provide. Enjoy good food (better if you can cook to please them) and good drinks with them.
DON'TS
Taurus do not loose their temper easily (in fact you may spend the whole life with them and still no spark) but you should not push your luck too much. Being unreasonable or aggressive with them may get you into trouble. Do not press him/her into a corner, and if you do, be prepared for a violent rage. Taurus is capable of violent outbursts though such an event is is very rare occasions. They can be suffocating when they are possessive about you.
Gemini (May 22 to June 21)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Gemini is a highly intellectual and versatile person. If you have a Gemini partner you have to match your wits with his/her wits to keep the zing in the relationship. They want to be mentally stimulated so you have to be good at conversing. Your sense of humour will get you a permanent residence in the heart of a Gemini. Be more communicative with them, and if you are good at this, you will never know how hours pass by holding each other's hand.
DON'TS
Gemini's like to do many things at the same time, so if unfortunately you are the type who is looking for stability you may get disappointed. Do not hold back a Gemini or you may lose him/her, as they are restless and need change in life constantly. You should try to adopt yourself with the ever-changing Gemini. Orthodox or conservative old fashion ideas are no-no in their dictionary. Change with the ever-changing Gemini and do not flow against the current.
Cancer (June 22 to July 22)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Try to adapt yourself with the changing moods of the Cancer. At one moment they may be laughing and enjoying and in another they may sulk. You may have to adjust with the moody and sensitive Cancer. They are like the tides in the ocean, always fluctuating. Cancerians love food, so if you know how to cook and can be poetic and romantic (added Bonus) then you know the way to their heart.
DON'TS
Cancerians are very sensitive people and can get easily hurt. So do not play with their emotions and sentiments. They are like tides that can sweep you along. They form emotional bonds with even inanimate things, so do not ask them to discard old caps or souvenirs. Such things hold special meaning to them. You have to realise that the crabs have a soft heart and are vulnerable. Do not contradict their tested line of thought and action, it would only lead to confusion.
Leo (July 23 to August 23)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
If you have Leo partner respect him and his majestic manners. Accept the advice of Leo, the lion, as he is the king of the jungle. It is the sign of a showman, so if your partner does everything in grand style enjoy it. They fall easily for flattery and want to be centre of attraction of all eyes (sometimes they can be quiet theatrical too).
DON'TS
Never ever hurt the ego of a Leo. Pride, ego and vanity are some of the bags Leo's always carry with them. Do not touch these bags. An authoritative Leo is even more difficult to handle in such circumstances. Leo is a sunny sign so they do not like people who are gloomy or depressed. Even if you are crying at heart keep a sunny smile on your lips and then let the lion take charge and remove all worries from your life.
Virgo (August 24 to September 22)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Virgo's are very methodical and have a great sense of duty. Howver, they are blind to their own faults. So, if you have a Virgo partner emphasise more on their qualities. Take keen interest in what they are doing and you will realise that they will go out of their way to help you. Do rely and appreciate their mental powers rather than their physical powers. They can turn even an unsuccessful venture into a success.
DON'TS
Do not push a Virgo into limelight or on the centre stage unless of course they do so on their own. They are shy and reserved by nature and do not like to be the cynosure of all eyes. Virgo's have secrets that they would not like to bring out in the open. So, even if you have the key to their secret skeleton-closet, hide it; do not even admit that you know anything about it. Virgo, the virgins, do not want to tarnish their public image.
Libra (September 23 to October 23)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Librans need peace and harmony in all their relationships, so help them maintain that. Venus, the ruling planet, gives them beauty and they have weakness for people who can compliment them about their beauty (you will not have to make an effort to do that anyway). You can help Libra seek union and partnership in life. If you have a Libra partner you can be sure to share beautiful and pleasurable moments together.
DON'TS
Libra is kind and gentle soul but very argumentative. Hence, do not start an argument or discussion unless, of course, you are free and do not know how to pass your time. They hate to lose and most probably during an argument may change sides too (remember scales can tilt) and still continue arguing from the other side. Do not push your Libra partner into making decisions. They will keep weighing pros and cons and may still not be able to come to any decision. Have patience !
Scorpio (October 24 to November 22)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Scorpio's are full of passion and zest for life. They have tremendous drive that can involve you too. Tune in to their wavelength and you can enjoy the harmony and music of life with them. Scorpio's are loyal and never forget a kind deed done by you. If you want to enjoy life with your Scorpio lover, share their passion and intensity and you will be fascinated by how beautiful life can be with them.
DON'TS
Scorpio's are very passionate and intense but they are also fiercely possessive and would like to possess your mind, body and soul. Do not let seeds of jealousy grow in them because then you may have to suffer agonies of jealousy and discontentment in life. Scorpio's have explosive tempers be careful how you handle them. They never let anyone know what is going on in their mind till they strike and you may be caught unawares. Do not flirt around in the presence of your Scorpio lover.
Sagittarius (November 23 to December 21)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Sagittarius is basically a happy go lucky kind. You can enjoy with them their zest and enthusiasm for life. They bubble with excitement. And if you share the same interests and hobbies, life can be great fun together. They are frank and straightforward so if you want some truthful opinion about anything or anyone go to them. Be optimistic as they are and view life as glass half full.
DON'TS
Sagittarius is fiercely independent and cannot tolerate restriction. Hence, do not try to hold them back in life. Let them enjoy their freedom because if you hold any special place in their heart they will always come back for you. Do not feel irritated by the exaggeration in their speech. They may go on and on, talking about certain things that may not even interest you, but its their way of trying to communicate with you. They are basically frank and outspoken (to the point of being rude), so do not feel offended by their talks.
Capricorn (December 22 to January 20)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Capricornians are strong and dependable. Hence, if you want to put your money on anyone it is of course this zodiac sign. They are practical and conservative in their outlook and they expect you to blend in their colour. They set certain standards for themselves in their life and they will always try to maintain those standards. For them social status and image is very important in life.
DON'TS
Do not expect a Capricorn mate to open his/her heart and pour everything to you. They are very secretive and reserved people. They are very thorough in all their affairs and hate any kind of sloppiness. People born under this zodiac are very tight-fisted and economical. Do not expect lavish gifts from them and if they do give you any gift (that is very rare) it will have some practical use (no romance please) but that does not mean you will be deprived of anything; on the contrary you will be well provided.
Aquarius (January 21 to February 19)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Aquarius are friendly and fascinating people. They have in-depth knowledge about various subjects and you can converse with them for hours without getting bored. They are capable of giving a lot of love that can be amazing. They have a very broad outlook of life and you can relax in their presence. They will always welcome your ideas and actions about humanitarian causes. To keep an Aquarius lover interested you must possess that mysterious and intriguing quality. Once hooked they will always be very faithful to you.
DON'TS
Do not expect or plan a normal, simple and predictable life with an Aquarius partner. Aquarians are totally unpredictable. They can go to any direction without giving any advance notice. They are basically very restless and get bored easily. Though they are very friendly, do not expect them to reveal their inner most feelings to you (they never will). They can be detached and impersonal, which may seem strange to others.
Pisces (February 20 to March 20)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Pisceans are sensitive and charming. If you are looking for someone who is understanding and can understand your feelings then you have met the right person. You should appreciate their feelings too, as in your time of need they are sure to help you. Pisces have a keenly developed sixth sense and have great intuitive powers. Their hunches may usually be right on mark. But they can exhaust their physical and mental energies. They are born dreamers and you can build palaces with your dream lover (only in real life it may become a little difficult preposition).
DON'TS
Pisces are dreamers and you should not expect them to have worldly ambitions. They are not materialistic in nature. It is not that they like living below the poverty line but they have no earnest desire to accumulate wealth. They are very sensitive and you have to be always careful about their feelings. The fishes are capable of drowning you in their tears (even men born under this sign).
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Some of the tongue twisters
1.If you understand, say "understand". If you don't understand, say"don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand".Howdo I understand that you understand? Understand!
2.I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish thewitch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
3.Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
4.A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could seewas sea, sea, sea.
5.Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People
6.If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watchwhich watch?
7.I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought Ithought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been thethought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
8.Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to afellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What afellow means?"
9.Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside.Mr Inside stood outside andcalled to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from insideand Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told MrOutside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside andoutside about going outside or coming inside. Finally,Mr Outside coaxedMr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside wentoutside to the riverside.
10.The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his insideoutside his inside inn.
11.If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors thedoctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Ordoes the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors? "When adoctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctordoctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctordoctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"
12.We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather befine,Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Orwhether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever theweather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot.Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It iswhether we like it or not.
13.Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
14.A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Saidthe flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through aflaw in the flue
15.If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twistedas tongue-twister twists tongues.
16.Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawedSoar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seenSee's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawedSoar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to seeSoar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
2.I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish thewitch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
3.Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
4.A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could seewas sea, sea, sea.
5.Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People
6.If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watchwhich watch?
7.I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought Ithought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been thethought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
8.Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to afellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What afellow means?"
9.Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside.Mr Inside stood outside andcalled to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from insideand Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told MrOutside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside andoutside about going outside or coming inside. Finally,Mr Outside coaxedMr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside wentoutside to the riverside.
10.The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his insideoutside his inside inn.
11.If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors thedoctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Ordoes the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors? "When adoctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctordoctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctordoctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"
12.We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather befine,Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Orwhether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever theweather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot.Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It iswhether we like it or not.
13.Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
14.A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Saidthe flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through aflaw in the flue
15.If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twistedas tongue-twister twists tongues.
16.Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawedSoar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seenSee's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawedSoar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to seeSoar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
Saturday, March 05, 2005
If you love someone.....
THE ORIGINAL QUOTE
If you love someone, Set her free... If she comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, she never was....
THE NEW VERSIONS.....
Pessimist:
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, as expected, she never was
Optimist:
If you love someone, Set her free ... Don't worry, she will come back.
Suspicious:
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, ask her why.
Impatient:
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back within some time forget her.
Patient:
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back ...
Playful:
If you love someone, Set her free ... *If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat *
C++ Programmer :
if(you-love(m_she)) /* m name of girlfriend */
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she = new CShe;
Animal-Rights Activist :
If you love someone, Set her free, In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!
Lawyers:
If you love someone, Set her free, Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...
Bill Gates :
If you love someone, Set her free, If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.
Biologist :
If you love someone, Set her free, She'll evolve.
Statisticians :
If you love someone, Set her free, If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway.
Schwarzenegger's fans:
If you love someone, Set her free, SHE'LL BE BACK!
Over possessive person :
If you love someone don't set her free.
HR specialist :
If you love someone set her free by Offering her VRS and other benefits Then out source her.
MBA :
If you love someone set her free instantaneously and look for others simultaneously
Psychologist :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back her super ego is dominant If she doesn't come back her id is supreme If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.
Somnabulist :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back it's a nightmare If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.
ERP functional expert :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back, map her into your system If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis
Finance expert :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.
Marketing Specialist :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back she has brand loyalty If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new market
If you love someone, Set her free... If she comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, she never was....
THE NEW VERSIONS.....
Pessimist:
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, as expected, she never was
Optimist:
If you love someone, Set her free ... Don't worry, she will come back.
Suspicious:
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, ask her why.
Impatient:
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back within some time forget her.
Patient:
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back ...
Playful:
If you love someone, Set her free ... *If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat *
C++ Programmer :
if(you-love(m_she)) /* m name of girlfriend */
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she = new CShe;
Animal-Rights Activist :
If you love someone, Set her free, In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!
Lawyers:
If you love someone, Set her free, Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...
Bill Gates :
If you love someone, Set her free, If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.
Biologist :
If you love someone, Set her free, She'll evolve.
Statisticians :
If you love someone, Set her free, If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway.
Schwarzenegger's fans:
If you love someone, Set her free, SHE'LL BE BACK!
Over possessive person :
If you love someone don't set her free.
HR specialist :
If you love someone set her free by Offering her VRS and other benefits Then out source her.
MBA :
If you love someone set her free instantaneously and look for others simultaneously
Psychologist :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back her super ego is dominant If she doesn't come back her id is supreme If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.
Somnabulist :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back it's a nightmare If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.
ERP functional expert :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back, map her into your system If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis
Finance expert :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.
Marketing Specialist :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back she has brand loyalty If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new market
Something really intresting...
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.THAT'S relativity.
Albert Einstein
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
- Franklin P. Jones
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
-Jean Cocturan
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday
always just exactly fits the newspaper.
- Jerry Seinfeld
"Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome."
Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is
in trouble again.
Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.
Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Forgive your enemies but remember their names.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Dont worry that the world ends today, its already tomorrow in Australia.
U learn in life when u lose
Albert Einstein
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
- Franklin P. Jones
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
-Jean Cocturan
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday
always just exactly fits the newspaper.
- Jerry Seinfeld
"Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome."
Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is
in trouble again.
Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.
Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Forgive your enemies but remember their names.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Dont worry that the world ends today, its already tomorrow in Australia.
U learn in life when u lose
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Roles in Heaven
Roles in Heaven :
Brahma
Systems Installation
Vishnu
Systems Administration & Support
Lakshmi
Finance and Accounts consultant
Saraswati
Training and Knowledge Management
Shiva
DBA (Crash Specialist)
Ganesh
Quality Assuarance & Documentation
Narada
Data transfer
Yama
Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant
Chitragupta
IDP & Personal Records
Apsaras
Downloadable Viruses
Devas
Mainframe Programmers
Surya
Solaris Administrator
Rakshasas
In house Hackers
Ravan
Internet Explorer WWWF
Kumbhakarnan
Zombie Process
Lakshman
Support Software and Backup
Hanuman
Linux/s390
Vaali
MS Windows
Sugreeva
DOS
Jatayu
Firewall
Dronacharya
System Programmer
Vishwamitra
Sr. Manager Projects
Shakuni
Annual appraisal & Promotion
Valmiki
Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)
Krishna
SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )
Dharmaraj Yudhishthira
ISO Consultant (CMM level 5)
Arjun
Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)
Abhimanyu
Trainee Programmer
Draupadi
Motivation & Team building
Bhima
MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM
Duryodhana
Microsoft product Written in VB
Karna
Contract programmer
Dhrutarashtra
Visual C++
Gandhari
Dreamweaver
100 Kauravas
Microsoft Service Packs and patches
Brahma
Systems Installation
Vishnu
Systems Administration & Support
Lakshmi
Finance and Accounts consultant
Saraswati
Training and Knowledge Management
Shiva
DBA (Crash Specialist)
Ganesh
Quality Assuarance & Documentation
Narada
Data transfer
Yama
Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant
Chitragupta
IDP & Personal Records
Apsaras
Downloadable Viruses
Devas
Mainframe Programmers
Surya
Solaris Administrator
Rakshasas
In house Hackers
Ravan
Internet Explorer WWWF
Kumbhakarnan
Zombie Process
Lakshman
Support Software and Backup
Hanuman
Linux/s390
Vaali
MS Windows
Sugreeva
DOS
Jatayu
Firewall
Dronacharya
System Programmer
Vishwamitra
Sr. Manager Projects
Shakuni
Annual appraisal & Promotion
Valmiki
Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)
Krishna
SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )
Dharmaraj Yudhishthira
ISO Consultant (CMM level 5)
Arjun
Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)
Abhimanyu
Trainee Programmer
Draupadi
Motivation & Team building
Bhima
MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM
Duryodhana
Microsoft product Written in VB
Karna
Contract programmer
Dhrutarashtra
Visual C++
Gandhari
Dreamweaver
100 Kauravas
Microsoft Service Packs and patches
People may actually write such applications!!
People actually write such applications!!!
This is an actual collection of leave letters and applications written by people.
1. A candidate's application: "This has reference to your advertisement
calling for a 'typist and an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both, I am applying for the post.
2. An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one week leave.
3. Another employee applied for half day leave as
follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
4. A friend of mine had written a leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request
you to leave me today"
5. A family friend of ours told an incident of his friend's letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare holiday to the school"
6. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day".
7. A covering note "I am enclosed herewith..."
8. Another leave letter written to Administration dept: "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
9. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
10. Letter writing: - "I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."
Hope u had a hearty laugh!
This is an actual collection of leave letters and applications written by people.
1. A candidate's application: "This has reference to your advertisement
calling for a 'typist and an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both, I am applying for the post.
2. An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one week leave.
3. Another employee applied for half day leave as
follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
4. A friend of mine had written a leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request
you to leave me today"
5. A family friend of ours told an incident of his friend's letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare holiday to the school"
6. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day".
7. A covering note "I am enclosed herewith..."
8. Another leave letter written to Administration dept: "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
9. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
10. Letter writing: - "I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."
Hope u had a hearty laugh!
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Anatomy of a True Friend
Anatomy of a True Friend
Eyes:
Will always see you for the way you really are, your true self.
Ears:
Will always have them open to listen.
Mouth:
To always tell you the truth and give their opinions, tell you when you mess up or do something good.
Shoulders:
Will offer when you need one to cry on and will be your strength when you find it hard to carry yourself. Will always let you lean on them.
Heart:
To love you for who you are and not judge. Will always have a place there for you.
Hands:
To hold yours when you need a little guidance, to lend when you need help, and to help you up when you may fall.
Arms:
Will always make you feel comfortable in them and to offer hugs when you need one. Will try to warm when you are cold.
Feet:
To walk with you throughout your life and be the best friend they can be.
Eyes:
Will always see you for the way you really are, your true self.
Ears:
Will always have them open to listen.
Mouth:
To always tell you the truth and give their opinions, tell you when you mess up or do something good.
Shoulders:
Will offer when you need one to cry on and will be your strength when you find it hard to carry yourself. Will always let you lean on them.
Heart:
To love you for who you are and not judge. Will always have a place there for you.
Hands:
To hold yours when you need a little guidance, to lend when you need help, and to help you up when you may fall.
Arms:
Will always make you feel comfortable in them and to offer hugs when you need one. Will try to warm when you are cold.
Feet:
To walk with you throughout your life and be the best friend they can be.
Lessons in logic!!!
Lessons in logic!!!
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
One should love animals.They are so tasty.
Behind every successful man,
there is a womanAnd behind every unsuccessful man,
there are two.
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing inlife.
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
Never put off the work till tomorrowwhat you can put off today.
"Your future depends on your dreams"So go to sleep
There should be a better way to start a dayThan waking up every morning
"Hard work never killed anybody"But why take the risk
"Work fascinates me"I can look at it for hours
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........
If your father is a poor man,it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,it's your stupidity
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
One should love animals.They are so tasty.
Behind every successful man,
there is a womanAnd behind every unsuccessful man,
there are two.
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing inlife.
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
Never put off the work till tomorrowwhat you can put off today.
"Your future depends on your dreams"So go to sleep
There should be a better way to start a dayThan waking up every morning
"Hard work never killed anybody"But why take the risk
"Work fascinates me"I can look at it for hours
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........
If your father is a poor man,it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,it's your stupidity
Why student fails in exam???????
Why student fails in exam???????
It's not the fault of the student if he/she fails, Because the year has an 'ONLY 365' days.
Typical academic year for a student.
1. Sundays- 52,Sundays in a year, which are rest days. Balance 313 days.
2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. Balance 263 days.
3. 8 hours daily sleep-means 122 days. Balance 141 days.
4. 1 hour for daily playing-(good for health) means 15 days. Balance 126 days.
5. Two hours daily for food & other delicacies (chew properly & eat)-means 30days. Balance 96 days.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days . Balance 81 days.
7. Exam days per year at least 35 days. Balance 46 days.
8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival holidays)-40 days. Balance 6 days.
9. For sickness at least 3 days. Balance 3 days.
10. Movies and functions at least 2 days. Balance 1 day.
11. That 1 day is your birthday.
"How can a student pass??"
It's not the fault of the student if he/she fails, Because the year has an 'ONLY 365' days.
Typical academic year for a student.
1. Sundays- 52,Sundays in a year, which are rest days. Balance 313 days.
2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. Balance 263 days.
3. 8 hours daily sleep-means 122 days. Balance 141 days.
4. 1 hour for daily playing-(good for health) means 15 days. Balance 126 days.
5. Two hours daily for food & other delicacies (chew properly & eat)-means 30days. Balance 96 days.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days . Balance 81 days.
7. Exam days per year at least 35 days. Balance 46 days.
8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival holidays)-40 days. Balance 6 days.
9. For sickness at least 3 days. Balance 3 days.
10. Movies and functions at least 2 days. Balance 1 day.
11. That 1 day is your birthday.
"How can a student pass??"
99 SECRETS GIRLS HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT GUYS
99 SECRETS GIRLS HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT GUYS
1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys hate flirts.
3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.
8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.
10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.
11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them.
12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they sure have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking!
13. Guys cry!!!
14. Don't provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.
15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.
16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.
17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.
18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind!" would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.
19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands.
20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when you're asking him to do you a favor, he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay down the card for you.
22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."
23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
24. Guys hate gays!
25. Guys love their moms.
26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.
27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.
28 You can never understand him unless you listen to him.
29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.
30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.
31. Like Eve, girls are guys’ weaknesses.
32. Guys are very open about themselves.
33. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.
34. No guy is bad when he is courting
35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.
37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.
41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.
42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.
43. Guys virtually brag about anything.
44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.
45. Guys think too much.
46. Guys' fantasies are unlimited.
47. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!
48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!
49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.
50. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.
51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.
52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be matured and grow up.
53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.
54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.
55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed pussycats with their girlfriends.
56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll probably see that he is nervous.
57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.
58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me"
59. Guys don't really have final decisions.
60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.
61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.
62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.
63. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.
64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
65. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.
67. A guy would waste his time over video games and basketball, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups. 68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake.
69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!
70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
71. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.
72. Don't be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.
73. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you'll be surprised.
74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.
75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.
76. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.
77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.
78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.
79. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.
80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them,they'll realize they're wrong.
81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too stubborn to deal with it.
82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.
83. Guys' weakest point is at the knee.
84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.
85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.
86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed of you or he's criticizing you.
87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.
88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.
89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.
90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!
92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.
93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.
94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.
95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.
96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!
97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.
98. Guys hate girls who overreact.
99. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.
1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys hate flirts.
3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.
8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.
10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.
11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them.
12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they sure have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking!
13. Guys cry!!!
14. Don't provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.
15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.
16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.
17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.
18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind!" would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.
19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands.
20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when you're asking him to do you a favor, he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay down the card for you.
22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."
23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
24. Guys hate gays!
25. Guys love their moms.
26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.
27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.
28 You can never understand him unless you listen to him.
29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.
30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.
31. Like Eve, girls are guys’ weaknesses.
32. Guys are very open about themselves.
33. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.
34. No guy is bad when he is courting
35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.
37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.
41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.
42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.
43. Guys virtually brag about anything.
44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.
45. Guys think too much.
46. Guys' fantasies are unlimited.
47. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!
48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!
49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.
50. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.
51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.
52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be matured and grow up.
53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.
54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.
55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed pussycats with their girlfriends.
56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll probably see that he is nervous.
57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.
58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me"
59. Guys don't really have final decisions.
60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.
61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.
62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.
63. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.
64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
65. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.
67. A guy would waste his time over video games and basketball, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups. 68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake.
69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!
70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
71. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.
72. Don't be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.
73. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you'll be surprised.
74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.
75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.
76. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.
77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.
78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.
79. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.
80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them,they'll realize they're wrong.
81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too stubborn to deal with it.
82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.
83. Guys' weakest point is at the knee.
84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.
85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.
86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed of you or he's criticizing you.
87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.
88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.
89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.
90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!
92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.
93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.
94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.
95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.
96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!
97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.
98. Guys hate girls who overreact.
99. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.
Microsoft Programming In C
Microsoft Programming In C
Microsoft Programming In C
#include
#include
#include /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */
#include /* For the court of law */
#define say(x) lie(x)
#define computeruser ALL_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE
#define next_year soon
#define the_product_is_ready_to_ship another_beta_version
void main()
{
if (latest_window_version>one_month_old)
{
if (there_are_still_bugs)
market(bugfix);
if (sales_drop_below_certain_point)
raise(RUMOURS_ABOUT_A_NEW_BUGLESS_VERSION);
}
while(everyone_chats_about_new_version)
{
make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking);/* Standard Call, in lie.h */
if (rumours_grow_wilder)
make_false_promise(it_will_be_plug_n_play);
if (rumours_grow_even_wilder)
{
market_time=ripe;
say("It will be ready in one month);
order(programmers, stop_fixing_bugs_in_old_version);
order(programmers, start_brainstorm_about_new_version);
order(marketingstaff, permission_to_spread_nonsense);
vapourware=TRUE;
break;
}
}
switch (nasty_questions_of_the_worldpress)
{
case WHEN_WILL_IT_BE_READY:
say("It will be readyin", today+30_days," we're just testing");
break;
case WILL_THIS_PLUG_AND_PLAY_THING_WORK:
say("Yes it will work");
ask(programmers, why_does_it_not_work);
pretend(there_is_no_problem);
break;
case WHAT_ARE_MINIMAL_HARDWARE_REQUIREMENTS:
say("It will run ona 8086 with lightning speed due to" " the 32 bits architecture");
inform(INTEL, "Pentium sales will rise skyhigh");
inform(SAMSUNG, "Start a new memorychip plant 'cos all those customerswill need at least 32 megs");
inform(QUANTUM, "Thanks to our fatware your sales will triple");
get_big_bonus(INTEL, SAMSUNG, QUANTUM); break;
case DOES_MICROSOFT_GET_TOO_MUCH_INFLUENCE:
say("Oh no, we are justhere to make a better world for everyone");
register(journalist, Big_Bill_Book);
when(time_is_ripe)
{
arrest(journalist);
brainwash(journalist);
when(journalist_says_windows95_is_bugfree)
{
order(journalist, "writea nice objective article");
release (journalist);
}
}
break;
}
while (vapourware)
{
introduction_date++; /* Delay*/
if (no_one_believes_anymore_there_will_be_a_release)
break;
say("It will be ready in",today+ONE_MONTH);
}
release(beta_version)
while (everyone_is_dumb_enough_to_buy_our_bugware)
{
bills_bank_account += 150*megabucks;
release(new_and_even_better_beta_version);
introduce(more_memory_requirements);
if (customers_report_installation_problems)
{
say("that is a hardwareproblem, not a software problem");
if (smart_customer_says_but_you_promised_plug_and_play)
{
ignore(customer);
order(microsoft_intelligence_agency, "Keep an eye on this bastard");
}
}
if (there_is_another_company)
{
steal(their_ideas);
accuse(compagny, stealing_our_ideas);
hire(a_lot_of_lawyers); /* in process.h */
wait(until_other_company_cannot_afford_another_lawsuit);
buy_out(other_company);
}
} /* Now everyone realizesthat we sell bugware and they are all angry at us */
order(plastic_surgeon, make_bill_look_like_poor_bastard);
buy(nice_little_island);
hire(harem);
laugh_at(everyone,for_having_the_patience_year_after_year_for_another_unfinished_version);
}
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
void bugfix(void)
{
charge (a_lot_of_money);
if (customer_says_he_does_not_want_to_pay_for_bugfix)
say("It is not a bugfixbut a new version");
if (still_complaints)
{
ignore(customer);
register(customer, Big_Bill_Book); /* We'll get him when everyone usesBillware!!*/
}
}
Microsoft Programming In C
#include
#include
#include
#include
#define say(x) lie(x)
#define computeruser ALL_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE
#define next_year soon
#define the_product_is_ready_to_ship another_beta_version
void main()
{
if (latest_window_version>one_month_old)
{
if (there_are_still_bugs)
market(bugfix);
if (sales_drop_below_certain_point)
raise(RUMOURS_ABOUT_A_NEW_BUGLESS_VERSION);
}
while(everyone_chats_about_new_version)
{
make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking);/* Standard Call, in lie.h */
if (rumours_grow_wilder)
make_false_promise(it_will_be_plug_n_play);
if (rumours_grow_even_wilder)
{
market_time=ripe;
say("It will be ready in one month);
order(programmers, stop_fixing_bugs_in_old_version);
order(programmers, start_brainstorm_about_new_version);
order(marketingstaff, permission_to_spread_nonsense);
vapourware=TRUE;
break;
}
}
switch (nasty_questions_of_the_worldpress)
{
case WHEN_WILL_IT_BE_READY:
say("It will be readyin", today+30_days," we're just testing");
break;
case WILL_THIS_PLUG_AND_PLAY_THING_WORK:
say("Yes it will work");
ask(programmers, why_does_it_not_work);
pretend(there_is_no_problem);
break;
case WHAT_ARE_MINIMAL_HARDWARE_REQUIREMENTS:
say("It will run ona 8086 with lightning speed due to" " the 32 bits architecture");
inform(INTEL, "Pentium sales will rise skyhigh");
inform(SAMSUNG, "Start a new memorychip plant 'cos all those customerswill need at least 32 megs");
inform(QUANTUM, "Thanks to our fatware your sales will triple");
get_big_bonus(INTEL, SAMSUNG, QUANTUM); break;
case DOES_MICROSOFT_GET_TOO_MUCH_INFLUENCE:
say("Oh no, we are justhere to make a better world for everyone");
register(journalist, Big_Bill_Book);
when(time_is_ripe)
{
arrest(journalist);
brainwash(journalist);
when(journalist_says_windows95_is_bugfree)
{
order(journalist, "writea nice objective article");
release (journalist);
}
}
break;
}
while (vapourware)
{
introduction_date++; /* Delay*/
if (no_one_believes_anymore_there_will_be_a_release)
break;
say("It will be ready in",today+ONE_MONTH);
}
release(beta_version)
while (everyone_is_dumb_enough_to_buy_our_bugware)
{
bills_bank_account += 150*megabucks;
release(new_and_even_better_beta_version);
introduce(more_memory_requirements);
if (customers_report_installation_problems)
{
say("that is a hardwareproblem, not a software problem");
if (smart_customer_says_but_you_promised_plug_and_play)
{
ignore(customer);
order(microsoft_intelligence_agency, "Keep an eye on this bastard");
}
}
if (there_is_another_company)
{
steal(their_ideas);
accuse(compagny, stealing_our_ideas);
hire(a_lot_of_lawyers); /* in process.h */
wait(until_other_company_cannot_afford_another_lawsuit);
buy_out(other_company);
}
} /* Now everyone realizesthat we sell bugware and they are all angry at us */
order(plastic_surgeon, make_bill_look_like_poor_bastard);
buy(nice_little_island);
hire(harem);
laugh_at(everyone,for_having_the_patience_year_after_year_for_another_unfinished_version);
}
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
void bugfix(void)
{
charge (a_lot_of_money);
if (customer_says_he_does_not_want_to_pay_for_bugfix)
say("It is not a bugfixbut a new version");
if (still_complaints)
{
ignore(customer);
register(customer, Big_Bill_Book); /* We'll get him when everyone usesBillware!!*/
}
}
These are new rules in the MNC's
These are new rules in the MNC's
Dear Staff,
Please be advised that there are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.
Transportation:
It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.
If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Annual Leave:
Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year (Wooow!). They are called Sundays.
LUNCH BREAK:
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
TOILET USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets.
There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the cubicles.
At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the door will open and a picture will be taken.
After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
Subsequent pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your salary.
SURGERY:
As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
Internet Usage :
All personal internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges will be deducted from your salary. (note: Rs.20 per minute as we have 4MB connection).
Just for the record. 73% of the staff will not be entitled to any salary for the next 3 months as their internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Your Project Manager
Dear Staff,
Please be advised that there are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.
Transportation:
It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.
If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Annual Leave:
Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year (Wooow!). They are called Sundays.
LUNCH BREAK:
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
TOILET USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets.
There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the cubicles.
At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the door will open and a picture will be taken.
After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
Subsequent pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your salary.
SURGERY:
As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
Internet Usage :
All personal internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges will be deducted from your salary. (note: Rs.20 per minute as we have 4MB connection).
Just for the record. 73% of the staff will not be entitled to any salary for the next 3 months as their internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Your Project Manager
Sunday, December 26, 2004
What is a Tsunami
What is a Tsunami
A tsunami is a very long-wavelength wave of water that is generated by sudden displacement of the seafloor or disruption of any body of standing water. Tsunami are sometimes called "seismic sea waves", although, as we will see, they can be generated by mechanisms other than earthquakes. Tsunami have also been called "tidal waves", but this term should not be used because they are not in any way related to the tides of the Earth. Because tsumani occur suddenly, often without warning, they are extremely dangerous to coastal communities.
Physical Characteristics of Tsumani
All types of waves, including tsumani, have a wavelength, a wave height, an amplitude, a frequency or period, and a velocity.
* Wavelength is defined as the distance between two identical points on a wave (i.e. between wave crests or wave troughs). Normal ocean waves have wavelengths of about 100 meters. Tsumani have much longer wavelengths, usually measured in kilometers and up to 200 kilometers.
* Wave height refers to the distance between the trough of the wave and the crest or peak of the wave.
* Wave amplitude - refers to the height of the wave above the still water line, usually this is equal to 1/2 the wave height. Tsumani can have variable wave height and amplitude that depends on water depth as we shall see in a moment
* Wave frequency or period - is the amount of time it takes for one full wavelength to pass a stationary point.
* Wave velocity is the speed of the wave. Velocities of normal ocean waves are about 90 km/hr while tsumani have velocities up to 950 km/hr (about as fast as jet airplanes), and thus move much more rapidly across ocean basins. The velocity of any wave is equal to the wavelength divided by the wave period.
V = l (lamda)/P
Tsumani are characterized as shallow-water waves. These are different from the waves most of us have observed on a the beach, which are caused by the wind blowing across the ocean's surface. Wind-generated waves usually have period (time between two successive waves) of five to twenty seconds and a wavelength of 100 to 200 meters. A tsunami can have a period in the range of ten minutes to two hours and wavelengths greater than 500 km. A wave is characterized as a shallow-water wave when the ratio of the water depth and wavelength is very small. The velocity of a shallow-water wave is also equal to the square root of the product of the acceleration of gravity, g, (980cm/sec/sec) and the depth of the water, d.
V=square rootof(g )* d
The rate at which a wave loses its energy is inversely related to its wavelength. Since a tsunami has a very large wavelength, it will lose little energy as it propagates. Thus, in very deep water, a tsunami will travel at high speeds with little loss of energy. For example, when the ocean is 6100 m deep, a tsunami will travel about 890 km/hr, and thus can travel across the Pacific Ocean in less than one day.
As a tsunami leaves the deep water of the open sea and arrives at the shallow waters near the coast, it undergoes a transformation. Since the velocity of the tsunami is also related to the water depth, as the depth of the water decreases, the velocity of the tsunami decreases. The change of total energy of the tsunami, however, remains constant.
Furthermore, the period of the wave remains the same, and thus more water is forced between the wave crests causing the height of the wave to increase. Because of this "shoaling" effect, a tsunami that was imperceptible in deep water may grow to have wave heights of several meters or more.
If the trough of the tsunami wave reaches the coast first, this causes a phenomenon called drawdown, where it appears that sea level has dropped considerably. Drawdown is followed immediately by the crest of the wave which can catch people observing the drawdown off guard. When the crest of the wave hits, sea level rises (called run-up). Run-up is usually expressed in meters above normal high tide. Run-ups from the same tsunami can be variable because of the influence of the shapes of coastlines. One coastal area may see no damaging wave activity while in another area destructive waves can be large and violent. The flooding of an area can extend inland by 300 m or more, covering large areas of land with water and debris. Flooding tsunami waves tend to carry loose objects and people out to sea when they retreat. Tsumani may reach a maximum vertical height onshore above sea level, called a run-up height, of 30 meters. A notable exception is the landslide generated tsunami in Lituya Bay, Alaska in 1958 which produced a 60 meter high wave.
Because the wavelengths and velocities of tsumani are so large, the period of such waves is also large, and larger than normal ocean waves. Thus it may take several hours for successive crests to reach the shore. (For a tsunami with a wavelength of 200 km traveling at 750 km/hr, the wave period is about 16 minutes). Thus people are not safe after the passage of the first large wave, but must wait several hours for all waves to pass. The first wave may not be the largest in the series of waves. For example, in several different recent tsumani the first, third, and fifth waves were the largest.
How Tsumani are Generated
There is an average of two destructive tsumani per year in the Pacific basin. Pacific wide tsumani are a rare phenomenon, occurring every 10 - 12 years on the average. Most of these tsumani are generated by earthquakes that cause displacement of the seafloor, but, as we shall see, tsumani can be generated by volcanic eruptions, landslides, underwater explosions, and meteorite impacts.
Earthquakes
Earthquakes cause tsumani by causing a disturbance of the seafloor. Thus, earthquakes that occur along coastlines or anywhere beneath the oceans can generate tsumani. The size of the tsunami is usually related to the size of the earthquake, with larger tsumani generated by larger earthquakes. But the sense of displacement is also important. Tsumani are generally only formed when an earthquake causes vertical displacement of the seafloor. The 1906 earthquake near San Francisco California had a Richter Magnitude of about 7.1, yet no tsunami was generated because the motion on the fault was strike-slip motion with no vertical displacement. Thus, tsumani only occur if the fault generating the earthquake has normal or reverse displacement. Because of this, most tsumani are generated by earthquakes that occur along the subduction boundaries of plates, along the oceanic trenches. Since the Pacific Ocean is surrounded by plate boundaries of this type, tsumani are frequently generated by earthquakes around the margins of the Pacific Ocean.
Examples of Tsumani generated by Earthquakes
* April 1, 1946 - A magnitude 7.3 earthquake occurred near Unimak Island in the Aleutian Islands west of Alaska, near the Alaska Trench. Sediment accumulating in the trench slumped into the trench and generated a tsunami. A lighthouse at Scotch Gap built of steel reinforced concrete was located on shore at an elevation of 14 m above mean low water. The first wave of the tsunami hit the Scotch Gap area 20 minutes after the earthquake, had a run-up 30 m and completely destroyed the lighthouse. 4.5 hours later the same tsunami reached the Hawaiian Islands after traveling at an average speed of 659 km/hr. As it approached the city of Hilo on the Big Island, it slowed to about 47 km/hr (note that even the fastest human cannot run faster than about 35 km/hr) and had a run-up of 18 m above normal high tide. It killed 159 people (90 in Hilo) and caused $25 million in property damage.
* May 22, 1960 - A magnitude 8.6 earthquake occurred along the subduction zone off South America. Because the population of Chile is familiar with earthquakes and potential tsumani, most people along the coast moved to higher ground. 15 minutes after the earthquake, a tsunami with a run-up of 4.5 m hit the coast. The first wave then retreated, dragging broken houses and boats back into the ocean. Many people saw this smooth retreat of the sea as a sign they could ride their boats out to sea and recover some of the property swept away by the first wave. But, about 1 hour later, the second wave traveling at a velocity of 166 km/hr crashed in with a run-up of 8 m. This wave crushed boats along the coast and destroyed coastal buildings. This was followed by a third wave traveling at only 83 km/hr that crashed in later with a run-up of 11 m, destroying all that was left of coastal villages. The resulting causalities listed 909 dead with 834 missing. In Hawaii, a tsunami warning system was in place and the tsunami was expected to arrive at 9:57 AM. It hit at 9:58 AM and 61 people died, mostly sightseers that wanted to watch the wave roll in at close range (obviously they were too close). The tsunami continued across the Pacific Ocean, eventually reaching Japan where it killed an additional 185 people.
* May 22, 1960 - A magnitude 8.6 earthquake occurred along the subduction zone off South America. Because the population of Chile is familiar with earthquakes and potential tsumani, most people along the coast moved to higher ground. 15 minutes after the earthquake, a tsunami with a run-up of 4.5 m hit the coast. The first wave then retreated, dragging broken houses and boats back into the ocean. Many people saw this smooth retreat of the sea as a sign they could ride their boats out to sea and recover some of the property swept away by the first wave. But, about 1 hour later, the second wave traveling at a velocity of 166 km/hr crashed in with a run-up of 8 m. This wave crushed boats along the coast and destroyed coastal buildings. This was followed by a third wave traveling at only 83 km/hr that crashed in later with a run-up of 11 m, destroying all that was left of coastal villages. The resulting causalities listed 909 dead with 834 missing. In Hawaii, a tsunami warning system was in place and the tsunami was expected to arrive at 9:57 AM. It hit at 9:58 AM and 61 people died, mostly sightseers that wanted to watch the wave roll in at close range (obviously they were too close). The tsunami continued across the Pacific Ocean, eventually reaching Japan where it killed an additional 185 people.
* September 2, 1992 - A magnitude 7 earthquake off the coast of Nicaragua in Central America occurred along the subduction zone below the Middle America Trench. The earthquake was barely felt by the residents of Nicaragua and was somewhat unusual. A 100 km-long segment of the oceanic lithosphere moved 1 m further below the over riding plate over a period of two minutes. Much energy was released but the ground did not shake very much. Seawater apparently absorbed some of the energy and sent a tsunami onto the coast. Residents had little warning, 150 people died and 13,000 people were left homeless.
Volcanic Eruptions
Volcanoes that occur along coastal zones, like in Japan and island arcs throughout the world, can cause several effects that might generate a tsunami. Explosive eruptions can rapidly emplace pyroclastic flows into the water, landslides and debris avalanches produced by eruptions can rapidly move into water, and collapse of volcanoes to form calderas can suddenly displace the water.
The eruption of Krakatau in the Straights of Sunda, between Java and Sumatra, in 1883 generated at least three tsumani that killed 36,417 people. It is still uncertain exactly what caused the tsumani, but it is known that several events that occurred during the eruption could have caused such tsumani.
* A large Plinian eruption column blasted pumice and ash up to 40 km into the atmosphere. This Plinian eruption column likely collapsed several times to produce pyroclastic flows, any of which could have generated a tsunami.
* A loud explosive blast was heard as far away as Australia. This blast was likely caused by a phreatic explosion that occurred as a result of seawater coming in contact with the magma. The explosion could have generated at least one of the tsumani.
* At some point during the eruption a caldera formed by collapse of the volcanic island. Areas that were once more than 300 m above sea level were found 300 m below sea level after the eruption. The sudden collapse of the volcano to form this caldera could have caused one or more tsumani.
* Earthquakes were felt throughout the eruption. Any one of these submarine earthquakes could have caused a tsunami.
One of the tsumani had a run-up of about 40 m above normal sea level. A large block of coral weighing about 600 tons was ripped off the seafloor and deposited 100 m inland. One ship was carried 2.5 km inland and was left 24 meters above sea level, with all of its crew swept into the ocean.
Landslides
Landslides moving into oceans, bays, or lakes can also generate tsumani. Most such landslides are generated by earthquakes or volcanic eruptions. As previously mentioned, a large landslide or debris avalanche fell into Lituya Bay, Alaska in 1958 causing a wave with a run-up of about 60 m as measured by a zone completely stripped of vegetation.
Underwater Explosions
Nuclear testing by the United States in the Marshall Islands in the 1940s and 1950s generated tsumani.
Meteorite Impacts
While no historic examples of meteorite impacts are known to have produced a tsunami, the apparent impact of a meteorite at the end of the Cretaceous Period, about 65 million years ago near the tip of what is now the Yucatan Peninsula of Mexico, produced tsumani that left deposits all along the Gulf coast of Mexico and the United States.
Mitigation of Risks and Hazards
The main damage from tsumani comes from the destructive nature of the waves themselves. Secondary effects include the debris acting as projectiles which then run into other objects, erosion that can undermine the foundations of structures built along coastlines, and fires that result from disruption of gas and electrical lines. Tertiary effects include loss of crops and water and electrical systems which can lead to famine and disease.
Within the last century there have been 94 destructive tsumani which have resulted in 51,000 deaths. Despite the fact that tsunami warning systems have been in place since 1950, deaths still result from tsumani, especially when the source of the earthquake is so close to a coast that there is little time for a warning, or when people do not heed the warning or follow instructions associated with the warning.
Prediction and Early Warning
For areas located at great distances from earthquakes that could potentially generate a tsunami there is usually plenty of time for warnings to be sent and coastal areas evacuated, even though tsumani travel at high velocities across the oceans. Hawaii is good example of an area located far from most of the sources of tsumani, where early warning is possible and has saved lives. For earthquakes occurring anywhere on the subduction margins of the Pacific Ocean there is a minimum of 4 hours of warning before a tsunami would strike any of the Hawaiian Islands.
The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) has set up a Pacific warning system for areas in the Pacific Ocean, called the Pacific Tsunami Warning Center. It consists of an international network of seismographic stations, and tidal stations around the Pacific basin that can all send information via satellite to the Center located in Hawaii. When an earthquake occurs somewhere in the region, the Center immediately begins to analyze the data looking for signs that the earthquake could have generated a tsunami. The tidal stations are also monitored, and if a tsunami is detected, a warning is sent out to all areas on the Pacific coast. It takes at least 1 hour to assimilate all of the information and issue a warning. Thus for an average velocity of a tsunami of 750 km/hr, the regional system can provide a warning sufficient for adequate evacuation of coastal areas within 750 km of the earthquake.
In order to be able to issue warnings about tsumani generated within 100 to 750 km of an earthquake, several regional warning centers have been set up in areas prone to tsunami generating earthquakes. These include centers in Japan, Kamchatka, Alaska, Hawaii, French Polynesia, and Chile.
These systems have been very successful at saving lives. For example, before the Japanese warning system was established, 14 tsumani killed over 6000 people in Japan. Since the establishment of the warning system 20 tsumani have killed 215 people in Japan.
Like all warning systems, the effectiveness of tsunami early warning depends strongly on local authority's ability to determine that their is a danger, their ability to disseminate the information to those potentially affected, and on the education of the public to heed the warnings and remove themselves from the area.
Tsunami Safety Rules
In case you are ever in an area where there is a threat of tsunami, I have downloaded the following tsunami safety rules from the West Coast & Alaska Tsunami Warning Center Home Page:
http://wcatwc.arh.noaa.gov
* A strong earthquake felt in a low-lying coastal area is a natural warning of possible, immediate danger. Keep calm and quickly move to higher ground away from the coast.
* All large earthquakes do not cause tsumani, but many do. If the quake is located near or directly under the ocean, the probability of a tsunami increases. When you hear that an earthquake has occurred in the ocean or coastline regions, prepare for a tsunami emergency.
* Tsumani can occur at any time, day or night. They can travel up rivers and streams that lead to the ocean.
* A tsunami is not a single wave, but a series of waves. Stay out of danger until an "ALL CLEAR" is issued by a competent authority.
* Approaching tsumani are sometimes heralded by noticeable rise or fall of coastal waters. This is nature's tsunami warning and should be heeded.
* A small tsunami at one beach can be a giant a few miles away. Do not let modest size of one make you lose respect for all.
* Sooner or later, tsumani visit every coastline in the Pacific. All tsumani - like hurricanes - are potentially dangerous even though they may not damage every coastline they strike.
* Never go down to the beach to watch for a tsunami! WHEN YOU CAN SEE THE WAVE YOU ARE TOO CLOSE TO ESCAPE. Tsumani can move faster than a person can run!
* During a tsunami emergency, your local emergency management office, police, fire and other emergency organizations will try to save your life. Give them your fullest cooperation.
* Homes and other buildings located in low lying coastal areas are not safe. Do NOT stay in such buildings if there is a tsunami warning.
* The upper floors of high, multi-story, reinforced concrete hotels can provide refuge if there is no time to quickly move inland or to higher ground.
* If you are on a boat or ship and there is time, move your vessel to deeper water (at least 100 fathoms). If it is the case that there is concurrent severe weather, it may safer to leave the boat at the pier and physically move to higher ground.
* Damaging wave activity and unpredictable currents can effect harbor conditions for a period of time after the tsunami's initial impact. Be sure conditions are safe before you return your boat or ship to the harbor.
* Stay tuned to your local radio, marine radio, NOAA Weather Radio, or television stations during a tsunami emergency - bulletins issued through your local emergency management office and National Weather Service offices can save your life.
A tsunami is a very long-wavelength wave of water that is generated by sudden displacement of the seafloor or disruption of any body of standing water. Tsunami are sometimes called "seismic sea waves", although, as we will see, they can be generated by mechanisms other than earthquakes. Tsunami have also been called "tidal waves", but this term should not be used because they are not in any way related to the tides of the Earth. Because tsumani occur suddenly, often without warning, they are extremely dangerous to coastal communities.
Physical Characteristics of Tsumani
All types of waves, including tsumani, have a wavelength, a wave height, an amplitude, a frequency or period, and a velocity.
* Wavelength is defined as the distance between two identical points on a wave (i.e. between wave crests or wave troughs). Normal ocean waves have wavelengths of about 100 meters. Tsumani have much longer wavelengths, usually measured in kilometers and up to 200 kilometers.
* Wave height refers to the distance between the trough of the wave and the crest or peak of the wave.
* Wave amplitude - refers to the height of the wave above the still water line, usually this is equal to 1/2 the wave height. Tsumani can have variable wave height and amplitude that depends on water depth as we shall see in a moment
* Wave frequency or period - is the amount of time it takes for one full wavelength to pass a stationary point.
* Wave velocity is the speed of the wave. Velocities of normal ocean waves are about 90 km/hr while tsumani have velocities up to 950 km/hr (about as fast as jet airplanes), and thus move much more rapidly across ocean basins. The velocity of any wave is equal to the wavelength divided by the wave period.
V = l (lamda)/P
Tsumani are characterized as shallow-water waves. These are different from the waves most of us have observed on a the beach, which are caused by the wind blowing across the ocean's surface. Wind-generated waves usually have period (time between two successive waves) of five to twenty seconds and a wavelength of 100 to 200 meters. A tsunami can have a period in the range of ten minutes to two hours and wavelengths greater than 500 km. A wave is characterized as a shallow-water wave when the ratio of the water depth and wavelength is very small. The velocity of a shallow-water wave is also equal to the square root of the product of the acceleration of gravity, g, (980cm/sec/sec) and the depth of the water, d.
V=square rootof(g )* d
The rate at which a wave loses its energy is inversely related to its wavelength. Since a tsunami has a very large wavelength, it will lose little energy as it propagates. Thus, in very deep water, a tsunami will travel at high speeds with little loss of energy. For example, when the ocean is 6100 m deep, a tsunami will travel about 890 km/hr, and thus can travel across the Pacific Ocean in less than one day.
As a tsunami leaves the deep water of the open sea and arrives at the shallow waters near the coast, it undergoes a transformation. Since the velocity of the tsunami is also related to the water depth, as the depth of the water decreases, the velocity of the tsunami decreases. The change of total energy of the tsunami, however, remains constant.
Furthermore, the period of the wave remains the same, and thus more water is forced between the wave crests causing the height of the wave to increase. Because of this "shoaling" effect, a tsunami that was imperceptible in deep water may grow to have wave heights of several meters or more.
If the trough of the tsunami wave reaches the coast first, this causes a phenomenon called drawdown, where it appears that sea level has dropped considerably. Drawdown is followed immediately by the crest of the wave which can catch people observing the drawdown off guard. When the crest of the wave hits, sea level rises (called run-up). Run-up is usually expressed in meters above normal high tide. Run-ups from the same tsunami can be variable because of the influence of the shapes of coastlines. One coastal area may see no damaging wave activity while in another area destructive waves can be large and violent. The flooding of an area can extend inland by 300 m or more, covering large areas of land with water and debris. Flooding tsunami waves tend to carry loose objects and people out to sea when they retreat. Tsumani may reach a maximum vertical height onshore above sea level, called a run-up height, of 30 meters. A notable exception is the landslide generated tsunami in Lituya Bay, Alaska in 1958 which produced a 60 meter high wave.
Because the wavelengths and velocities of tsumani are so large, the period of such waves is also large, and larger than normal ocean waves. Thus it may take several hours for successive crests to reach the shore. (For a tsunami with a wavelength of 200 km traveling at 750 km/hr, the wave period is about 16 minutes). Thus people are not safe after the passage of the first large wave, but must wait several hours for all waves to pass. The first wave may not be the largest in the series of waves. For example, in several different recent tsumani the first, third, and fifth waves were the largest.
How Tsumani are Generated
There is an average of two destructive tsumani per year in the Pacific basin. Pacific wide tsumani are a rare phenomenon, occurring every 10 - 12 years on the average. Most of these tsumani are generated by earthquakes that cause displacement of the seafloor, but, as we shall see, tsumani can be generated by volcanic eruptions, landslides, underwater explosions, and meteorite impacts.
Earthquakes
Earthquakes cause tsumani by causing a disturbance of the seafloor. Thus, earthquakes that occur along coastlines or anywhere beneath the oceans can generate tsumani. The size of the tsunami is usually related to the size of the earthquake, with larger tsumani generated by larger earthquakes. But the sense of displacement is also important. Tsumani are generally only formed when an earthquake causes vertical displacement of the seafloor. The 1906 earthquake near San Francisco California had a Richter Magnitude of about 7.1, yet no tsunami was generated because the motion on the fault was strike-slip motion with no vertical displacement. Thus, tsumani only occur if the fault generating the earthquake has normal or reverse displacement. Because of this, most tsumani are generated by earthquakes that occur along the subduction boundaries of plates, along the oceanic trenches. Since the Pacific Ocean is surrounded by plate boundaries of this type, tsumani are frequently generated by earthquakes around the margins of the Pacific Ocean.
Examples of Tsumani generated by Earthquakes
* April 1, 1946 - A magnitude 7.3 earthquake occurred near Unimak Island in the Aleutian Islands west of Alaska, near the Alaska Trench. Sediment accumulating in the trench slumped into the trench and generated a tsunami. A lighthouse at Scotch Gap built of steel reinforced concrete was located on shore at an elevation of 14 m above mean low water. The first wave of the tsunami hit the Scotch Gap area 20 minutes after the earthquake, had a run-up 30 m and completely destroyed the lighthouse. 4.5 hours later the same tsunami reached the Hawaiian Islands after traveling at an average speed of 659 km/hr. As it approached the city of Hilo on the Big Island, it slowed to about 47 km/hr (note that even the fastest human cannot run faster than about 35 km/hr) and had a run-up of 18 m above normal high tide. It killed 159 people (90 in Hilo) and caused $25 million in property damage.
* May 22, 1960 - A magnitude 8.6 earthquake occurred along the subduction zone off South America. Because the population of Chile is familiar with earthquakes and potential tsumani, most people along the coast moved to higher ground. 15 minutes after the earthquake, a tsunami with a run-up of 4.5 m hit the coast. The first wave then retreated, dragging broken houses and boats back into the ocean. Many people saw this smooth retreat of the sea as a sign they could ride their boats out to sea and recover some of the property swept away by the first wave. But, about 1 hour later, the second wave traveling at a velocity of 166 km/hr crashed in with a run-up of 8 m. This wave crushed boats along the coast and destroyed coastal buildings. This was followed by a third wave traveling at only 83 km/hr that crashed in later with a run-up of 11 m, destroying all that was left of coastal villages. The resulting causalities listed 909 dead with 834 missing. In Hawaii, a tsunami warning system was in place and the tsunami was expected to arrive at 9:57 AM. It hit at 9:58 AM and 61 people died, mostly sightseers that wanted to watch the wave roll in at close range (obviously they were too close). The tsunami continued across the Pacific Ocean, eventually reaching Japan where it killed an additional 185 people.
* May 22, 1960 - A magnitude 8.6 earthquake occurred along the subduction zone off South America. Because the population of Chile is familiar with earthquakes and potential tsumani, most people along the coast moved to higher ground. 15 minutes after the earthquake, a tsunami with a run-up of 4.5 m hit the coast. The first wave then retreated, dragging broken houses and boats back into the ocean. Many people saw this smooth retreat of the sea as a sign they could ride their boats out to sea and recover some of the property swept away by the first wave. But, about 1 hour later, the second wave traveling at a velocity of 166 km/hr crashed in with a run-up of 8 m. This wave crushed boats along the coast and destroyed coastal buildings. This was followed by a third wave traveling at only 83 km/hr that crashed in later with a run-up of 11 m, destroying all that was left of coastal villages. The resulting causalities listed 909 dead with 834 missing. In Hawaii, a tsunami warning system was in place and the tsunami was expected to arrive at 9:57 AM. It hit at 9:58 AM and 61 people died, mostly sightseers that wanted to watch the wave roll in at close range (obviously they were too close). The tsunami continued across the Pacific Ocean, eventually reaching Japan where it killed an additional 185 people.
* September 2, 1992 - A magnitude 7 earthquake off the coast of Nicaragua in Central America occurred along the subduction zone below the Middle America Trench. The earthquake was barely felt by the residents of Nicaragua and was somewhat unusual. A 100 km-long segment of the oceanic lithosphere moved 1 m further below the over riding plate over a period of two minutes. Much energy was released but the ground did not shake very much. Seawater apparently absorbed some of the energy and sent a tsunami onto the coast. Residents had little warning, 150 people died and 13,000 people were left homeless.
Volcanic Eruptions
Volcanoes that occur along coastal zones, like in Japan and island arcs throughout the world, can cause several effects that might generate a tsunami. Explosive eruptions can rapidly emplace pyroclastic flows into the water, landslides and debris avalanches produced by eruptions can rapidly move into water, and collapse of volcanoes to form calderas can suddenly displace the water.
The eruption of Krakatau in the Straights of Sunda, between Java and Sumatra, in 1883 generated at least three tsumani that killed 36,417 people. It is still uncertain exactly what caused the tsumani, but it is known that several events that occurred during the eruption could have caused such tsumani.
* A large Plinian eruption column blasted pumice and ash up to 40 km into the atmosphere. This Plinian eruption column likely collapsed several times to produce pyroclastic flows, any of which could have generated a tsunami.
* A loud explosive blast was heard as far away as Australia. This blast was likely caused by a phreatic explosion that occurred as a result of seawater coming in contact with the magma. The explosion could have generated at least one of the tsumani.
* At some point during the eruption a caldera formed by collapse of the volcanic island. Areas that were once more than 300 m above sea level were found 300 m below sea level after the eruption. The sudden collapse of the volcano to form this caldera could have caused one or more tsumani.
* Earthquakes were felt throughout the eruption. Any one of these submarine earthquakes could have caused a tsunami.
One of the tsumani had a run-up of about 40 m above normal sea level. A large block of coral weighing about 600 tons was ripped off the seafloor and deposited 100 m inland. One ship was carried 2.5 km inland and was left 24 meters above sea level, with all of its crew swept into the ocean.
Landslides
Landslides moving into oceans, bays, or lakes can also generate tsumani. Most such landslides are generated by earthquakes or volcanic eruptions. As previously mentioned, a large landslide or debris avalanche fell into Lituya Bay, Alaska in 1958 causing a wave with a run-up of about 60 m as measured by a zone completely stripped of vegetation.
Underwater Explosions
Nuclear testing by the United States in the Marshall Islands in the 1940s and 1950s generated tsumani.
Meteorite Impacts
While no historic examples of meteorite impacts are known to have produced a tsunami, the apparent impact of a meteorite at the end of the Cretaceous Period, about 65 million years ago near the tip of what is now the Yucatan Peninsula of Mexico, produced tsumani that left deposits all along the Gulf coast of Mexico and the United States.
Mitigation of Risks and Hazards
The main damage from tsumani comes from the destructive nature of the waves themselves. Secondary effects include the debris acting as projectiles which then run into other objects, erosion that can undermine the foundations of structures built along coastlines, and fires that result from disruption of gas and electrical lines. Tertiary effects include loss of crops and water and electrical systems which can lead to famine and disease.
Within the last century there have been 94 destructive tsumani which have resulted in 51,000 deaths. Despite the fact that tsunami warning systems have been in place since 1950, deaths still result from tsumani, especially when the source of the earthquake is so close to a coast that there is little time for a warning, or when people do not heed the warning or follow instructions associated with the warning.
Prediction and Early Warning
For areas located at great distances from earthquakes that could potentially generate a tsunami there is usually plenty of time for warnings to be sent and coastal areas evacuated, even though tsumani travel at high velocities across the oceans. Hawaii is good example of an area located far from most of the sources of tsumani, where early warning is possible and has saved lives. For earthquakes occurring anywhere on the subduction margins of the Pacific Ocean there is a minimum of 4 hours of warning before a tsunami would strike any of the Hawaiian Islands.
The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) has set up a Pacific warning system for areas in the Pacific Ocean, called the Pacific Tsunami Warning Center. It consists of an international network of seismographic stations, and tidal stations around the Pacific basin that can all send information via satellite to the Center located in Hawaii. When an earthquake occurs somewhere in the region, the Center immediately begins to analyze the data looking for signs that the earthquake could have generated a tsunami. The tidal stations are also monitored, and if a tsunami is detected, a warning is sent out to all areas on the Pacific coast. It takes at least 1 hour to assimilate all of the information and issue a warning. Thus for an average velocity of a tsunami of 750 km/hr, the regional system can provide a warning sufficient for adequate evacuation of coastal areas within 750 km of the earthquake.
In order to be able to issue warnings about tsumani generated within 100 to 750 km of an earthquake, several regional warning centers have been set up in areas prone to tsunami generating earthquakes. These include centers in Japan, Kamchatka, Alaska, Hawaii, French Polynesia, and Chile.
These systems have been very successful at saving lives. For example, before the Japanese warning system was established, 14 tsumani killed over 6000 people in Japan. Since the establishment of the warning system 20 tsumani have killed 215 people in Japan.
Like all warning systems, the effectiveness of tsunami early warning depends strongly on local authority's ability to determine that their is a danger, their ability to disseminate the information to those potentially affected, and on the education of the public to heed the warnings and remove themselves from the area.
Tsunami Safety Rules
In case you are ever in an area where there is a threat of tsunami, I have downloaded the following tsunami safety rules from the West Coast & Alaska Tsunami Warning Center Home Page:
http://wcatwc.arh.noaa.gov
* A strong earthquake felt in a low-lying coastal area is a natural warning of possible, immediate danger. Keep calm and quickly move to higher ground away from the coast.
* All large earthquakes do not cause tsumani, but many do. If the quake is located near or directly under the ocean, the probability of a tsunami increases. When you hear that an earthquake has occurred in the ocean or coastline regions, prepare for a tsunami emergency.
* Tsumani can occur at any time, day or night. They can travel up rivers and streams that lead to the ocean.
* A tsunami is not a single wave, but a series of waves. Stay out of danger until an "ALL CLEAR" is issued by a competent authority.
* Approaching tsumani are sometimes heralded by noticeable rise or fall of coastal waters. This is nature's tsunami warning and should be heeded.
* A small tsunami at one beach can be a giant a few miles away. Do not let modest size of one make you lose respect for all.
* Sooner or later, tsumani visit every coastline in the Pacific. All tsumani - like hurricanes - are potentially dangerous even though they may not damage every coastline they strike.
* Never go down to the beach to watch for a tsunami! WHEN YOU CAN SEE THE WAVE YOU ARE TOO CLOSE TO ESCAPE. Tsumani can move faster than a person can run!
* During a tsunami emergency, your local emergency management office, police, fire and other emergency organizations will try to save your life. Give them your fullest cooperation.
* Homes and other buildings located in low lying coastal areas are not safe. Do NOT stay in such buildings if there is a tsunami warning.
* The upper floors of high, multi-story, reinforced concrete hotels can provide refuge if there is no time to quickly move inland or to higher ground.
* If you are on a boat or ship and there is time, move your vessel to deeper water (at least 100 fathoms). If it is the case that there is concurrent severe weather, it may safer to leave the boat at the pier and physically move to higher ground.
* Damaging wave activity and unpredictable currents can effect harbor conditions for a period of time after the tsunami's initial impact. Be sure conditions are safe before you return your boat or ship to the harbor.
* Stay tuned to your local radio, marine radio, NOAA Weather Radio, or television stations during a tsunami emergency - bulletins issued through your local emergency management office and National Weather Service offices can save your life.
DANGEROUS DRUGS - To be avoided
India has become a dumping ground for banned drugs; also the business forproduction of banned drugs is blooming. Plz make sure that u buy drugs onlyif prescribed by a doctor(Also, ask which company manufactures it, thiswould help to ensure that u get what is prescribed at the Drug Store) andthat also from a reputed drug store. Not many people know about thesebanned drugs and consume them causing a lot of damage to themselves. We doforward Jokes and and other junk all the time. This is far more important.
DANGEROUS DRUGS THESE DRUGS HAVE BEEN GLOBALLY DISCARDED BUT ARE AVAILABLEIN INDIA. The most common ones are D cold, action 500 & Nimulid.
ANALGIN: This is a pain-killer.
Reason for ban: Bone marrow depression
Brand name: Novalgin
CISAPRIDE:Acidity, constipation.
Reason for ban : irregular heartbeat
Brand name : Ciza, Syspride
DROPERIDOL:Anti-depressant.
Reason for ban : Irregular heartbeat.
Brand name :Droperol
FURAZOLIDONE:Antidiarrhoeal.
Reason for ban : Cancer.
Brand name : Furoxone, Lomofen
NIMESULIDE:Painkiller, fever.
Reason for ban : Liver failure.
Brand name : Nise, Nimulid
NITROFURAZONE:Antibacterial cream.
Reason for ban : Cancer.
Brand name : Furacin
PHENOLPHTHALEIN:Laxative.
Reason for ban : Cancer.
Brand name : Agarol
PHENYLPROPANOLAMINE:cold and cough.
Reason for ban : stroke.
Brand name : D'cold, Vicks Action-500
OXYPHENBUTAZONE:Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug.
Reason for ban : Bone marrow depression.
Brand name : Sioril
PIPERAZINE:Anti-worms.
Reason for ban : Nerve damage.
Brand name : Piperazine
QUINIODOCHLOR:Anti-diarrhoeal.
Reason for ban : Damage to sight.
Brand name :Enteroquinol
DANGEROUS DRUGS THESE DRUGS HAVE BEEN GLOBALLY DISCARDED BUT ARE AVAILABLEIN INDIA. The most common ones are D cold, action 500 & Nimulid.
ANALGIN: This is a pain-killer.
Reason for ban: Bone marrow depression
Brand name: Novalgin
CISAPRIDE:Acidity, constipation.
Reason for ban : irregular heartbeat
Brand name : Ciza, Syspride
DROPERIDOL:Anti-depressant.
Reason for ban : Irregular heartbeat.
Brand name :Droperol
FURAZOLIDONE:Antidiarrhoeal.
Reason for ban : Cancer.
Brand name : Furoxone, Lomofen
NIMESULIDE:Painkiller, fever.
Reason for ban : Liver failure.
Brand name : Nise, Nimulid
NITROFURAZONE:Antibacterial cream.
Reason for ban : Cancer.
Brand name : Furacin
PHENOLPHTHALEIN:Laxative.
Reason for ban : Cancer.
Brand name : Agarol
PHENYLPROPANOLAMINE:cold and cough.
Reason for ban : stroke.
Brand name : D'cold, Vicks Action-500
OXYPHENBUTAZONE:Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug.
Reason for ban : Bone marrow depression.
Brand name : Sioril
PIPERAZINE:Anti-worms.
Reason for ban : Nerve damage.
Brand name : Piperazine
QUINIODOCHLOR:Anti-diarrhoeal.
Reason for ban : Damage to sight.
Brand name :Enteroquinol
Nuclear War
Nuclear War
During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile, Soviet satellites would inform the Sovietarmy in 3 seconds and in less than 45 seconds Soviet counter-missiles would be on their way. Recent studies commissioned by US department of Defense included one on nuclear war between India andPakistan.
This was their scenario.................
The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India.They don't need any permission from their government, and promptly order the countdowns.
Indian technology is highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak countdownand decides to launch a missile in retribution.
But they need permission from the Government of India. They submit their request to the Indian President. The President forwards it to the Cabinet.The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session.The LS meets, but due to several walkouts and severe protests by the opposition, it gets adjourned indefinitely.The President asks for a quick decision.
In the mean time, the Pak missile failed to take off due to technical failure. Their attempts for a relaunch are still on.
Just then the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority because a party that was giving outside support withdraws it. The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week. As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, a caretaker government is installed.
The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch a nuclear missile. But the Election Commission says that a caretaker government can not take such a decision because elections are at hand.
A Public Interest Litigation is filed in the Supreme Court alleging misuse of power by the Election Commission.The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting PM is authorized to take this decision in view of the emergency facing the nation.
Just then one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, but it fell 367 miles away from the target, on its own government building at 11.00AM. Fortunately there were no casualties as no employee had reached the office that early.
In any case,the nuclear core of the missile had detached somewhere in flight.The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China and USA.
The Indian Government, taking no chances, decides to launch a nuclear missile of its own, after convening an all-party meeting. This time all the parties agree. Its three months since the army had sought permission.
But as preparations begin, "pro-humanity","anti-nuclear" activists come out against the Government's decision. Human chains are formed and Rasta rokos organised.
In California and Washington endless e-mails are sent to Indians condemning the government and mentioning "Please forward it to as many Indians as possible".
On the Pakistan side, the missiles kept malfunctioning. Some missiles deviate from target due to technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan.Many of them land in the Indian Ocean killing some fishes.
A missile (smuggled from USA) is pressed into service. Since the Pakistan army is unable to understand its software, it hits it original destination: Russia.
Russians successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a nuclear missile towards Islamabad.The missile hits the target and creates havoc.
Pakistan cries for help.
India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and sends in a million dollars worth of Parle-G biscuits.
Thus India never gets to launch the missile.
Pakistan never gets it right.
And we live happily ever after!!!!
During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile, Soviet satellites would inform the Sovietarmy in 3 seconds and in less than 45 seconds Soviet counter-missiles would be on their way. Recent studies commissioned by US department of Defense included one on nuclear war between India andPakistan.
This was their scenario.................
The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India.They don't need any permission from their government, and promptly order the countdowns.
Indian technology is highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak countdownand decides to launch a missile in retribution.
But they need permission from the Government of India. They submit their request to the Indian President. The President forwards it to the Cabinet.The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session.The LS meets, but due to several walkouts and severe protests by the opposition, it gets adjourned indefinitely.The President asks for a quick decision.
In the mean time, the Pak missile failed to take off due to technical failure. Their attempts for a relaunch are still on.
Just then the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority because a party that was giving outside support withdraws it. The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week. As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, a caretaker government is installed.
The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch a nuclear missile. But the Election Commission says that a caretaker government can not take such a decision because elections are at hand.
A Public Interest Litigation is filed in the Supreme Court alleging misuse of power by the Election Commission.The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting PM is authorized to take this decision in view of the emergency facing the nation.
Just then one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, but it fell 367 miles away from the target, on its own government building at 11.00AM. Fortunately there were no casualties as no employee had reached the office that early.
In any case,the nuclear core of the missile had detached somewhere in flight.The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China and USA.
The Indian Government, taking no chances, decides to launch a nuclear missile of its own, after convening an all-party meeting. This time all the parties agree. Its three months since the army had sought permission.
But as preparations begin, "pro-humanity","anti-nuclear" activists come out against the Government's decision. Human chains are formed and Rasta rokos organised.
In California and Washington endless e-mails are sent to Indians condemning the government and mentioning "Please forward it to as many Indians as possible".
On the Pakistan side, the missiles kept malfunctioning. Some missiles deviate from target due to technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan.Many of them land in the Indian Ocean killing some fishes.
A missile (smuggled from USA) is pressed into service. Since the Pakistan army is unable to understand its software, it hits it original destination: Russia.
Russians successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a nuclear missile towards Islamabad.The missile hits the target and creates havoc.
Pakistan cries for help.
India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and sends in a million dollars worth of Parle-G biscuits.
Thus India never gets to launch the missile.
Pakistan never gets it right.
And we live happily ever after!!!!
TYPES OF VISAS
TYPES OF VISAS
A Visas (Official Visas)
A-1: For Ambassadors, public ministers & consular officers
A-2: For immediate family members of A-1A-3: Attendants & servants of A-1 and A-2 holders
B (Business/Visitor) Visa
B-1 Temporary visitor for business
B-2 Temporary visitor for leisure
C & D Visa (For Aliens in transit)
C-1,2: Alien in transit directly through US
C-3: Family of C-1,C-2 in transit
C-4: Transit without Visa(TWOV)
D-1: Sailors departing on vessel of arrival
D-2: Sailors departing by other means
E - Visa (For Traders/Investors)
E-1 Treaty Trader, spouse and children
E-2 Treaty Investor, spouse and children
F Visa (Students)
Want to study or research at a U.S. college? Then F is the visa for you -
F-1: Academic Student
F-2: Spouse or child of F-1
H (Temporary Worker) Visa
H-1B: Persons in a specialty occupation
H-2B: Seasonal nonagricultural workers
H-3: Trainees other than medical/academic; also training of handicaps
H-4: Dependants of H visa holders
I Visa (Mediapersons)
Are you a reporter, film person, Editor? Then you require an I-visa -
Essential docs: Your press ID, a letter from the editor.
J & Q Exchange Visitor Visa
J-1 exchange visitors may be academics, scientists, businesspeople or students.
J-1: Visas for exchange visitors
J-2: Spouse or 'child' of J-1 under 21
Fiance(e) of US Citizen
K-1 Fiance(e)
K-2 Minor child of K-1
K-3 Spouse of a U.S. Citizen (LIFE Act)
K-4 Child of K-3 (LIFE Act)
Docs: Marriage certificate & Photos, Intent of marrying within 90 days in US(for K1).
L Visa (Intracompany Transferees)
L-1A Executive, managerial
L-1B Specialized knowledge
L-2 Spouse or child of L-1
Vocational and Language Students
M-1 Vocational student or other non-academic student
M-2 Spouse or child of M-1
O -Visa (For Prodigies)
O-1: For a Genius in Sciences, Arts, Education, Business, or Athletics.
O-2: Alien's (support) accompanying O-1
O-3: Spouse or child of O-1 or O-2
Athletes and Entertainers
P-1: Athletes & Entertainment groups
P-2: Entertainers in exchange programs
P-3: Entertainers in cultural programs
P-4: Spouse or child of P-1, 2, or 3
R-Visa (Religious Workers)
R-1 Religious workers
R-2 Spouse or child of R-1
A Visas (Official Visas)
A-1: For Ambassadors, public ministers & consular officers
A-2: For immediate family members of A-1A-3: Attendants & servants of A-1 and A-2 holders
B (Business/Visitor) Visa
B-1 Temporary visitor for business
B-2 Temporary visitor for leisure
C & D Visa (For Aliens in transit)
C-1,2: Alien in transit directly through US
C-3: Family of C-1,C-2 in transit
C-4: Transit without Visa(TWOV)
D-1: Sailors departing on vessel of arrival
D-2: Sailors departing by other means
E - Visa (For Traders/Investors)
E-1 Treaty Trader, spouse and children
E-2 Treaty Investor, spouse and children
F Visa (Students)
Want to study or research at a U.S. college? Then F is the visa for you -
F-1: Academic Student
F-2: Spouse or child of F-1
H (Temporary Worker) Visa
H-1B: Persons in a specialty occupation
H-2B: Seasonal nonagricultural workers
H-3: Trainees other than medical/academic; also training of handicaps
H-4: Dependants of H visa holders
I Visa (Mediapersons)
Are you a reporter, film person, Editor? Then you require an I-visa -
Essential docs: Your press ID, a letter from the editor.
J & Q Exchange Visitor Visa
J-1 exchange visitors may be academics, scientists, businesspeople or students.
J-1: Visas for exchange visitors
J-2: Spouse or 'child' of J-1 under 21
Fiance(e) of US Citizen
K-1 Fiance(e)
K-2 Minor child of K-1
K-3 Spouse of a U.S. Citizen (LIFE Act)
K-4 Child of K-3 (LIFE Act)
Docs: Marriage certificate & Photos, Intent of marrying within 90 days in US(for K1).
L Visa (Intracompany Transferees)
L-1A Executive, managerial
L-1B Specialized knowledge
L-2 Spouse or child of L-1
Vocational and Language Students
M-1 Vocational student or other non-academic student
M-2 Spouse or child of M-1
O -Visa (For Prodigies)
O-1: For a Genius in Sciences, Arts, Education, Business, or Athletics.
O-2: Alien's (support) accompanying O-1
O-3: Spouse or child of O-1 or O-2
Athletes and Entertainers
P-1: Athletes & Entertainment groups
P-2: Entertainers in exchange programs
P-3: Entertainers in cultural programs
P-4: Spouse or child of P-1, 2, or 3
R-Visa (Religious Workers)
R-1 Religious workers
R-2 Spouse or child of R-1
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)