Doubt in Mahabharat
In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching the Mahabharat katha to class 6 students. He is at the 'krishnajanma' part of it.
Masterji: "Kamsa heard the akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going to kill him. He was furious. He ordered to put vasudev n devki behind the bars.
First son is born, and kamsa kills him by poisoning...
Second one is born n kansa throws him off the mountain peak.
Third one is born..."
Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand. Masterji, I have a doubt (sounding nervous n confused)
Masterji: "Ramu bete, whole india does not have doubt in mahabharata then how come u have one?"
Ramu : Masterji, if Kamsa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to Kill him, WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL ?
Masterji fainted.........................
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Monday, March 14, 2005
Thirupacchi - An Ultimate Review
V have never got a sequel in tamil movies as compared to Hollywood movies...
But here is one...
"Thirupacchi" - Bagavathi Part II.
There is a scene in the movie - 'Maganadigan' where a director ll b telling a story to Sathyaraj (with that 'Dubbatta Dubbatta' song). Sathyaraj'll refuse to act in that movie. But that Lucky chance was then offered to Vijay.
Now the Story.......
our Vijay is an "Aruva maker" near tirupacchi, has a 'pasamalar' kind sister. She has no costume designer for the movie. So, she ll wearing only Vijay's Nike shirts.... Only in tamil movies.... even pattikkattu heroes ll b wearing such kind of stuff.
Whenever these come in one frame, music ll automatically start.... 'lalala....lala...lalala'.
Ok, back to the story. Vijay wants his sister to be married to a city guy only and gets an idiot from chennai. Vijay comes along with the married couple to chennai.
as u expect Trisha is the next door gal, will fall in love with the Hero (Who wants the reasons after all).
I wonder what Trisha if for in the movie!!! She just whips in with a couple of useless dialogs trying to suggest vijay ( the real hero of the movie ) that she is the heroine in the movie. However her wardrobe is quite good and she looks fine......She made all that of her's dance in the very worthy song " appan panna thappulae ". hats off to perarusu who has used tamil verbal skills in a prolofic way to give us such a phiosophical song!
Cut the story there......
Introduction of Villains (saniyan sagadai, pattasu balu, panparag ravi). Each one of them rule different parts of Chennai (North, South, Middle) and has different manerisms.
Pattasu balu (played by Pasupathi) ll kill his oppenents by using crackers. (Our Hero ll spoil it once by using water just like that)
Panparag Ravi (new villain) ll kill his oppenents by using Cockroach sprayer. (our hero uses the same thing to kill him)
n the ultimate Saniyan Sagadai (thotta sennivasarao) ll kill his oppenents by using his dialogues itself. (our hero ll also give some 'Punch' dialogues b4 killing him).
Continuation of Story....
Our Hero gets shocked by the gundas in chennai, worries for his sister's life and gets his friend killed by one of the villain. (They ll project Chennai as dangerous as Iraq n Afghanistan)
Vijay sends back his pregnant sister to his village and promises his sister's child (unborn) to bring back peace(......!) in Chennai b4 his birth.
Finally as u all expect he kills all the villains in Chennai and hugs Trisha (they ll show only that 1). Police ll happily celebrate New Year.
and inbetween all these there are 5 fights, 6 songs, 1000000 sentiment scenes.
Before killing the villains Vijay ll give a punch Dialogue... 'Idhu kolai alla.... VADHAM'. These dialogue also suits the movie... 'Idhu padam alla.... VADHAM'
"Thirupacchi" - Blade illa Aruva..........
Guys... I prefer u to watch this movie if U,
1. Have donated a lot to Tsunami... and have lot of money n donno what to do with that.
2. Want to see a 200% comedy movie.
3. feel that 'Sullan', 'Bagavathi', 'Red' r the worst movie ever made.
4. are a Ajith Fan.
But here is one...
"Thirupacchi" - Bagavathi Part II.
There is a scene in the movie - 'Maganadigan' where a director ll b telling a story to Sathyaraj (with that 'Dubbatta Dubbatta' song). Sathyaraj'll refuse to act in that movie. But that Lucky chance was then offered to Vijay.
Now the Story.......
our Vijay is an "Aruva maker" near tirupacchi, has a 'pasamalar' kind sister. She has no costume designer for the movie. So, she ll wearing only Vijay's Nike shirts.... Only in tamil movies.... even pattikkattu heroes ll b wearing such kind of stuff.
Whenever these come in one frame, music ll automatically start.... 'lalala....lala...lalala'.
Ok, back to the story. Vijay wants his sister to be married to a city guy only and gets an idiot from chennai. Vijay comes along with the married couple to chennai.
as u expect Trisha is the next door gal, will fall in love with the Hero (Who wants the reasons after all).
I wonder what Trisha if for in the movie!!! She just whips in with a couple of useless dialogs trying to suggest vijay ( the real hero of the movie ) that she is the heroine in the movie. However her wardrobe is quite good and she looks fine......She made all that of her's dance in the very worthy song " appan panna thappulae ". hats off to perarusu who has used tamil verbal skills in a prolofic way to give us such a phiosophical song!
Cut the story there......
Introduction of Villains (saniyan sagadai, pattasu balu, panparag ravi). Each one of them rule different parts of Chennai (North, South, Middle) and has different manerisms.
Pattasu balu (played by Pasupathi) ll kill his oppenents by using crackers. (Our Hero ll spoil it once by using water just like that)
Panparag Ravi (new villain) ll kill his oppenents by using Cockroach sprayer. (our hero uses the same thing to kill him)
n the ultimate Saniyan Sagadai (thotta sennivasarao) ll kill his oppenents by using his dialogues itself. (our hero ll also give some 'Punch' dialogues b4 killing him).
Continuation of Story....
Our Hero gets shocked by the gundas in chennai, worries for his sister's life and gets his friend killed by one of the villain. (They ll project Chennai as dangerous as Iraq n Afghanistan)
Vijay sends back his pregnant sister to his village and promises his sister's child (unborn) to bring back peace(......!) in Chennai b4 his birth.
Finally as u all expect he kills all the villains in Chennai and hugs Trisha (they ll show only that 1). Police ll happily celebrate New Year.
and inbetween all these there are 5 fights, 6 songs, 1000000 sentiment scenes.
Before killing the villains Vijay ll give a punch Dialogue... 'Idhu kolai alla.... VADHAM'. These dialogue also suits the movie... 'Idhu padam alla.... VADHAM'
"Thirupacchi" - Blade illa Aruva..........
Guys... I prefer u to watch this movie if U,
1. Have donated a lot to Tsunami... and have lot of money n donno what to do with that.
2. Want to see a 200% comedy movie.
3. feel that 'Sullan', 'Bagavathi', 'Red' r the worst movie ever made.
4. are a Ajith Fan.
SOME QUOTES ON MARRIED LIFE
HI THERE.......
THESE R SOME QUOTES ON MARRIED LIFE..........(100% for Fun only!no way related with my ATTITUDE)
HAV FUN READING IT...............
All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems
The difference between marriage and death?- Dead people are free
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book
My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it.
My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them.My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!
Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them.
Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced.
Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry
Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife& sharks for the wife's mother
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. – Socrates
There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.
Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence
THESE R SOME QUOTES ON MARRIED LIFE..........(100% for Fun only!no way related with my ATTITUDE)
HAV FUN READING IT...............
All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems
The difference between marriage and death?- Dead people are free
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book
My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it.
My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them.My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!
Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them.
Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced.
Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry
Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife& sharks for the wife's mother
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. – Socrates
There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.
Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence
Thursday, March 10, 2005
marketing concepts
Professor at IIM A was explaining marketing concepts:
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.You go up to her and say, "I am very rich.Marry me!" That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's very rich.Marry him."That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say "Hi,I'm very rich.Marry me." That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say,"By the way, I'm very rich.Will you marry me?" That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says,"You are very rich.." That's Brand Recognition.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm rich.Marry me" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.That's Customer Feedback !!!!!
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am very rich.Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband.That's demand and supply gap.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say, "I am very rich.Marry me!" she turns her face towards you ...............................................she is your wife !That's competition eating into your market share.
The Do's And Don'ts For All Zodiac Signs
The Do's And Don'ts For All Zodiac Signs
Aries (March 21 to April 20)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Aries are naturally active and vibrant people and they tend to like such people too. You will have to increase your pace to be in step with them. They like and appreciate frank and straightforward persons. With them you can be your true self (but don't try your luck being over frank-they are volatile). If you are in love with an Arien, then you have to show your enthusiasm in all their activities (you can always yawn later!).
DON'TS
Do not tell an may Aries that s/he may be wrong. Any such statement stir a storm in a teacup. Aries are very faithful and passionate lovers. Do not give air to the smouldering fire within them by making them jealous. No flirtation or fooling around with others in their presence unless of course you wish to write your death wish (you will be granted!).
Taurus (April 21 to May 21)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Stability and dependability characterise Taurus. They like people who can blend and grow with them. If you have a Taurus partner you should appreciate all things bright and beautiful. They have an inherent artistic sense and are fond of colour and music. Judge life with them from a purely materialistic point of view. Enjoy everything luxurious that money can provide. Enjoy good food (better if you can cook to please them) and good drinks with them.
DON'TS
Taurus do not loose their temper easily (in fact you may spend the whole life with them and still no spark) but you should not push your luck too much. Being unreasonable or aggressive with them may get you into trouble. Do not press him/her into a corner, and if you do, be prepared for a violent rage. Taurus is capable of violent outbursts though such an event is is very rare occasions. They can be suffocating when they are possessive about you.
Gemini (May 22 to June 21)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Gemini is a highly intellectual and versatile person. If you have a Gemini partner you have to match your wits with his/her wits to keep the zing in the relationship. They want to be mentally stimulated so you have to be good at conversing. Your sense of humour will get you a permanent residence in the heart of a Gemini. Be more communicative with them, and if you are good at this, you will never know how hours pass by holding each other's hand.
DON'TS
Gemini's like to do many things at the same time, so if unfortunately you are the type who is looking for stability you may get disappointed. Do not hold back a Gemini or you may lose him/her, as they are restless and need change in life constantly. You should try to adopt yourself with the ever-changing Gemini. Orthodox or conservative old fashion ideas are no-no in their dictionary. Change with the ever-changing Gemini and do not flow against the current.
Cancer (June 22 to July 22)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Try to adapt yourself with the changing moods of the Cancer. At one moment they may be laughing and enjoying and in another they may sulk. You may have to adjust with the moody and sensitive Cancer. They are like the tides in the ocean, always fluctuating. Cancerians love food, so if you know how to cook and can be poetic and romantic (added Bonus) then you know the way to their heart.
DON'TS
Cancerians are very sensitive people and can get easily hurt. So do not play with their emotions and sentiments. They are like tides that can sweep you along. They form emotional bonds with even inanimate things, so do not ask them to discard old caps or souvenirs. Such things hold special meaning to them. You have to realise that the crabs have a soft heart and are vulnerable. Do not contradict their tested line of thought and action, it would only lead to confusion.
Leo (July 23 to August 23)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
If you have Leo partner respect him and his majestic manners. Accept the advice of Leo, the lion, as he is the king of the jungle. It is the sign of a showman, so if your partner does everything in grand style enjoy it. They fall easily for flattery and want to be centre of attraction of all eyes (sometimes they can be quiet theatrical too).
DON'TS
Never ever hurt the ego of a Leo. Pride, ego and vanity are some of the bags Leo's always carry with them. Do not touch these bags. An authoritative Leo is even more difficult to handle in such circumstances. Leo is a sunny sign so they do not like people who are gloomy or depressed. Even if you are crying at heart keep a sunny smile on your lips and then let the lion take charge and remove all worries from your life.
Virgo (August 24 to September 22)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Virgo's are very methodical and have a great sense of duty. Howver, they are blind to their own faults. So, if you have a Virgo partner emphasise more on their qualities. Take keen interest in what they are doing and you will realise that they will go out of their way to help you. Do rely and appreciate their mental powers rather than their physical powers. They can turn even an unsuccessful venture into a success.
DON'TS
Do not push a Virgo into limelight or on the centre stage unless of course they do so on their own. They are shy and reserved by nature and do not like to be the cynosure of all eyes. Virgo's have secrets that they would not like to bring out in the open. So, even if you have the key to their secret skeleton-closet, hide it; do not even admit that you know anything about it. Virgo, the virgins, do not want to tarnish their public image.
Libra (September 23 to October 23)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Librans need peace and harmony in all their relationships, so help them maintain that. Venus, the ruling planet, gives them beauty and they have weakness for people who can compliment them about their beauty (you will not have to make an effort to do that anyway). You can help Libra seek union and partnership in life. If you have a Libra partner you can be sure to share beautiful and pleasurable moments together.
DON'TS
Libra is kind and gentle soul but very argumentative. Hence, do not start an argument or discussion unless, of course, you are free and do not know how to pass your time. They hate to lose and most probably during an argument may change sides too (remember scales can tilt) and still continue arguing from the other side. Do not push your Libra partner into making decisions. They will keep weighing pros and cons and may still not be able to come to any decision. Have patience !
Scorpio (October 24 to November 22)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Scorpio's are full of passion and zest for life. They have tremendous drive that can involve you too. Tune in to their wavelength and you can enjoy the harmony and music of life with them. Scorpio's are loyal and never forget a kind deed done by you. If you want to enjoy life with your Scorpio lover, share their passion and intensity and you will be fascinated by how beautiful life can be with them.
DON'TS
Scorpio's are very passionate and intense but they are also fiercely possessive and would like to possess your mind, body and soul. Do not let seeds of jealousy grow in them because then you may have to suffer agonies of jealousy and discontentment in life. Scorpio's have explosive tempers be careful how you handle them. They never let anyone know what is going on in their mind till they strike and you may be caught unawares. Do not flirt around in the presence of your Scorpio lover.
Sagittarius (November 23 to December 21)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Sagittarius is basically a happy go lucky kind. You can enjoy with them their zest and enthusiasm for life. They bubble with excitement. And if you share the same interests and hobbies, life can be great fun together. They are frank and straightforward so if you want some truthful opinion about anything or anyone go to them. Be optimistic as they are and view life as glass half full.
DON'TS
Sagittarius is fiercely independent and cannot tolerate restriction. Hence, do not try to hold them back in life. Let them enjoy their freedom because if you hold any special place in their heart they will always come back for you. Do not feel irritated by the exaggeration in their speech. They may go on and on, talking about certain things that may not even interest you, but its their way of trying to communicate with you. They are basically frank and outspoken (to the point of being rude), so do not feel offended by their talks.
Capricorn (December 22 to January 20)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Capricornians are strong and dependable. Hence, if you want to put your money on anyone it is of course this zodiac sign. They are practical and conservative in their outlook and they expect you to blend in their colour. They set certain standards for themselves in their life and they will always try to maintain those standards. For them social status and image is very important in life.
DON'TS
Do not expect a Capricorn mate to open his/her heart and pour everything to you. They are very secretive and reserved people. They are very thorough in all their affairs and hate any kind of sloppiness. People born under this zodiac are very tight-fisted and economical. Do not expect lavish gifts from them and if they do give you any gift (that is very rare) it will have some practical use (no romance please) but that does not mean you will be deprived of anything; on the contrary you will be well provided.
Aquarius (January 21 to February 19)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Aquarius are friendly and fascinating people. They have in-depth knowledge about various subjects and you can converse with them for hours without getting bored. They are capable of giving a lot of love that can be amazing. They have a very broad outlook of life and you can relax in their presence. They will always welcome your ideas and actions about humanitarian causes. To keep an Aquarius lover interested you must possess that mysterious and intriguing quality. Once hooked they will always be very faithful to you.
DON'TS
Do not expect or plan a normal, simple and predictable life with an Aquarius partner. Aquarians are totally unpredictable. They can go to any direction without giving any advance notice. They are basically very restless and get bored easily. Though they are very friendly, do not expect them to reveal their inner most feelings to you (they never will). They can be detached and impersonal, which may seem strange to others.
Pisces (February 20 to March 20)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Pisceans are sensitive and charming. If you are looking for someone who is understanding and can understand your feelings then you have met the right person. You should appreciate their feelings too, as in your time of need they are sure to help you. Pisces have a keenly developed sixth sense and have great intuitive powers. Their hunches may usually be right on mark. But they can exhaust their physical and mental energies. They are born dreamers and you can build palaces with your dream lover (only in real life it may become a little difficult preposition).
DON'TS
Pisces are dreamers and you should not expect them to have worldly ambitions. They are not materialistic in nature. It is not that they like living below the poverty line but they have no earnest desire to accumulate wealth. They are very sensitive and you have to be always careful about their feelings. The fishes are capable of drowning you in their tears (even men born under this sign).
Aries (March 21 to April 20)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Aries are naturally active and vibrant people and they tend to like such people too. You will have to increase your pace to be in step with them. They like and appreciate frank and straightforward persons. With them you can be your true self (but don't try your luck being over frank-they are volatile). If you are in love with an Arien, then you have to show your enthusiasm in all their activities (you can always yawn later!).
DON'TS
Do not tell an may Aries that s/he may be wrong. Any such statement stir a storm in a teacup. Aries are very faithful and passionate lovers. Do not give air to the smouldering fire within them by making them jealous. No flirtation or fooling around with others in their presence unless of course you wish to write your death wish (you will be granted!).
Taurus (April 21 to May 21)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Stability and dependability characterise Taurus. They like people who can blend and grow with them. If you have a Taurus partner you should appreciate all things bright and beautiful. They have an inherent artistic sense and are fond of colour and music. Judge life with them from a purely materialistic point of view. Enjoy everything luxurious that money can provide. Enjoy good food (better if you can cook to please them) and good drinks with them.
DON'TS
Taurus do not loose their temper easily (in fact you may spend the whole life with them and still no spark) but you should not push your luck too much. Being unreasonable or aggressive with them may get you into trouble. Do not press him/her into a corner, and if you do, be prepared for a violent rage. Taurus is capable of violent outbursts though such an event is is very rare occasions. They can be suffocating when they are possessive about you.
Gemini (May 22 to June 21)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Gemini is a highly intellectual and versatile person. If you have a Gemini partner you have to match your wits with his/her wits to keep the zing in the relationship. They want to be mentally stimulated so you have to be good at conversing. Your sense of humour will get you a permanent residence in the heart of a Gemini. Be more communicative with them, and if you are good at this, you will never know how hours pass by holding each other's hand.
DON'TS
Gemini's like to do many things at the same time, so if unfortunately you are the type who is looking for stability you may get disappointed. Do not hold back a Gemini or you may lose him/her, as they are restless and need change in life constantly. You should try to adopt yourself with the ever-changing Gemini. Orthodox or conservative old fashion ideas are no-no in their dictionary. Change with the ever-changing Gemini and do not flow against the current.
Cancer (June 22 to July 22)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Try to adapt yourself with the changing moods of the Cancer. At one moment they may be laughing and enjoying and in another they may sulk. You may have to adjust with the moody and sensitive Cancer. They are like the tides in the ocean, always fluctuating. Cancerians love food, so if you know how to cook and can be poetic and romantic (added Bonus) then you know the way to their heart.
DON'TS
Cancerians are very sensitive people and can get easily hurt. So do not play with their emotions and sentiments. They are like tides that can sweep you along. They form emotional bonds with even inanimate things, so do not ask them to discard old caps or souvenirs. Such things hold special meaning to them. You have to realise that the crabs have a soft heart and are vulnerable. Do not contradict their tested line of thought and action, it would only lead to confusion.
Leo (July 23 to August 23)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
If you have Leo partner respect him and his majestic manners. Accept the advice of Leo, the lion, as he is the king of the jungle. It is the sign of a showman, so if your partner does everything in grand style enjoy it. They fall easily for flattery and want to be centre of attraction of all eyes (sometimes they can be quiet theatrical too).
DON'TS
Never ever hurt the ego of a Leo. Pride, ego and vanity are some of the bags Leo's always carry with them. Do not touch these bags. An authoritative Leo is even more difficult to handle in such circumstances. Leo is a sunny sign so they do not like people who are gloomy or depressed. Even if you are crying at heart keep a sunny smile on your lips and then let the lion take charge and remove all worries from your life.
Virgo (August 24 to September 22)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Virgo's are very methodical and have a great sense of duty. Howver, they are blind to their own faults. So, if you have a Virgo partner emphasise more on their qualities. Take keen interest in what they are doing and you will realise that they will go out of their way to help you. Do rely and appreciate their mental powers rather than their physical powers. They can turn even an unsuccessful venture into a success.
DON'TS
Do not push a Virgo into limelight or on the centre stage unless of course they do so on their own. They are shy and reserved by nature and do not like to be the cynosure of all eyes. Virgo's have secrets that they would not like to bring out in the open. So, even if you have the key to their secret skeleton-closet, hide it; do not even admit that you know anything about it. Virgo, the virgins, do not want to tarnish their public image.
Libra (September 23 to October 23)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Librans need peace and harmony in all their relationships, so help them maintain that. Venus, the ruling planet, gives them beauty and they have weakness for people who can compliment them about their beauty (you will not have to make an effort to do that anyway). You can help Libra seek union and partnership in life. If you have a Libra partner you can be sure to share beautiful and pleasurable moments together.
DON'TS
Libra is kind and gentle soul but very argumentative. Hence, do not start an argument or discussion unless, of course, you are free and do not know how to pass your time. They hate to lose and most probably during an argument may change sides too (remember scales can tilt) and still continue arguing from the other side. Do not push your Libra partner into making decisions. They will keep weighing pros and cons and may still not be able to come to any decision. Have patience !
Scorpio (October 24 to November 22)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Scorpio's are full of passion and zest for life. They have tremendous drive that can involve you too. Tune in to their wavelength and you can enjoy the harmony and music of life with them. Scorpio's are loyal and never forget a kind deed done by you. If you want to enjoy life with your Scorpio lover, share their passion and intensity and you will be fascinated by how beautiful life can be with them.
DON'TS
Scorpio's are very passionate and intense but they are also fiercely possessive and would like to possess your mind, body and soul. Do not let seeds of jealousy grow in them because then you may have to suffer agonies of jealousy and discontentment in life. Scorpio's have explosive tempers be careful how you handle them. They never let anyone know what is going on in their mind till they strike and you may be caught unawares. Do not flirt around in the presence of your Scorpio lover.
Sagittarius (November 23 to December 21)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Sagittarius is basically a happy go lucky kind. You can enjoy with them their zest and enthusiasm for life. They bubble with excitement. And if you share the same interests and hobbies, life can be great fun together. They are frank and straightforward so if you want some truthful opinion about anything or anyone go to them. Be optimistic as they are and view life as glass half full.
DON'TS
Sagittarius is fiercely independent and cannot tolerate restriction. Hence, do not try to hold them back in life. Let them enjoy their freedom because if you hold any special place in their heart they will always come back for you. Do not feel irritated by the exaggeration in their speech. They may go on and on, talking about certain things that may not even interest you, but its their way of trying to communicate with you. They are basically frank and outspoken (to the point of being rude), so do not feel offended by their talks.
Capricorn (December 22 to January 20)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Capricornians are strong and dependable. Hence, if you want to put your money on anyone it is of course this zodiac sign. They are practical and conservative in their outlook and they expect you to blend in their colour. They set certain standards for themselves in their life and they will always try to maintain those standards. For them social status and image is very important in life.
DON'TS
Do not expect a Capricorn mate to open his/her heart and pour everything to you. They are very secretive and reserved people. They are very thorough in all their affairs and hate any kind of sloppiness. People born under this zodiac are very tight-fisted and economical. Do not expect lavish gifts from them and if they do give you any gift (that is very rare) it will have some practical use (no romance please) but that does not mean you will be deprived of anything; on the contrary you will be well provided.
Aquarius (January 21 to February 19)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Aquarius are friendly and fascinating people. They have in-depth knowledge about various subjects and you can converse with them for hours without getting bored. They are capable of giving a lot of love that can be amazing. They have a very broad outlook of life and you can relax in their presence. They will always welcome your ideas and actions about humanitarian causes. To keep an Aquarius lover interested you must possess that mysterious and intriguing quality. Once hooked they will always be very faithful to you.
DON'TS
Do not expect or plan a normal, simple and predictable life with an Aquarius partner. Aquarians are totally unpredictable. They can go to any direction without giving any advance notice. They are basically very restless and get bored easily. Though they are very friendly, do not expect them to reveal their inner most feelings to you (they never will). They can be detached and impersonal, which may seem strange to others.
Pisces (February 20 to March 20)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO'S
Pisceans are sensitive and charming. If you are looking for someone who is understanding and can understand your feelings then you have met the right person. You should appreciate their feelings too, as in your time of need they are sure to help you. Pisces have a keenly developed sixth sense and have great intuitive powers. Their hunches may usually be right on mark. But they can exhaust their physical and mental energies. They are born dreamers and you can build palaces with your dream lover (only in real life it may become a little difficult preposition).
DON'TS
Pisces are dreamers and you should not expect them to have worldly ambitions. They are not materialistic in nature. It is not that they like living below the poverty line but they have no earnest desire to accumulate wealth. They are very sensitive and you have to be always careful about their feelings. The fishes are capable of drowning you in their tears (even men born under this sign).
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Some of the tongue twisters
1.If you understand, say "understand". If you don't understand, say"don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand".Howdo I understand that you understand? Understand!
2.I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish thewitch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
3.Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
4.A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could seewas sea, sea, sea.
5.Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People
6.If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watchwhich watch?
7.I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought Ithought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been thethought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
8.Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to afellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What afellow means?"
9.Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside.Mr Inside stood outside andcalled to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from insideand Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told MrOutside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside andoutside about going outside or coming inside. Finally,Mr Outside coaxedMr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside wentoutside to the riverside.
10.The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his insideoutside his inside inn.
11.If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors thedoctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Ordoes the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors? "When adoctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctordoctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctordoctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"
12.We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather befine,Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Orwhether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever theweather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot.Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It iswhether we like it or not.
13.Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
14.A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Saidthe flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through aflaw in the flue
15.If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twistedas tongue-twister twists tongues.
16.Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawedSoar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seenSee's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawedSoar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to seeSoar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
2.I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish thewitch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
3.Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
4.A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could seewas sea, sea, sea.
5.Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People
6.If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watchwhich watch?
7.I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought Ithought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been thethought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
8.Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to afellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What afellow means?"
9.Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside.Mr Inside stood outside andcalled to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from insideand Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told MrOutside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside andoutside about going outside or coming inside. Finally,Mr Outside coaxedMr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside wentoutside to the riverside.
10.The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his insideoutside his inside inn.
11.If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors thedoctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Ordoes the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors? "When adoctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctordoctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctordoctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"
12.We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather befine,Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Orwhether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever theweather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot.Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It iswhether we like it or not.
13.Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
14.A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Saidthe flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through aflaw in the flue
15.If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twistedas tongue-twister twists tongues.
16.Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawedSoar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seenSee's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawedSoar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to seeSoar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
Saturday, March 05, 2005
If you love someone.....
THE ORIGINAL QUOTE
If you love someone, Set her free... If she comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, she never was....
THE NEW VERSIONS.....
Pessimist:
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, as expected, she never was
Optimist:
If you love someone, Set her free ... Don't worry, she will come back.
Suspicious:
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, ask her why.
Impatient:
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back within some time forget her.
Patient:
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back ...
Playful:
If you love someone, Set her free ... *If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat *
C++ Programmer :
if(you-love(m_she)) /* m name of girlfriend */
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she = new CShe;
Animal-Rights Activist :
If you love someone, Set her free, In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!
Lawyers:
If you love someone, Set her free, Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...
Bill Gates :
If you love someone, Set her free, If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.
Biologist :
If you love someone, Set her free, She'll evolve.
Statisticians :
If you love someone, Set her free, If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway.
Schwarzenegger's fans:
If you love someone, Set her free, SHE'LL BE BACK!
Over possessive person :
If you love someone don't set her free.
HR specialist :
If you love someone set her free by Offering her VRS and other benefits Then out source her.
MBA :
If you love someone set her free instantaneously and look for others simultaneously
Psychologist :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back her super ego is dominant If she doesn't come back her id is supreme If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.
Somnabulist :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back it's a nightmare If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.
ERP functional expert :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back, map her into your system If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis
Finance expert :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.
Marketing Specialist :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back she has brand loyalty If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new market
If you love someone, Set her free... If she comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, she never was....
THE NEW VERSIONS.....
Pessimist:
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, as expected, she never was
Optimist:
If you love someone, Set her free ... Don't worry, she will come back.
Suspicious:
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, ask her why.
Impatient:
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back within some time forget her.
Patient:
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back ...
Playful:
If you love someone, Set her free ... *If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat *
C++ Programmer :
if(you-love(m_she)) /* m name of girlfriend */
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she = new CShe;
Animal-Rights Activist :
If you love someone, Set her free, In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!
Lawyers:
If you love someone, Set her free, Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...
Bill Gates :
If you love someone, Set her free, If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.
Biologist :
If you love someone, Set her free, She'll evolve.
Statisticians :
If you love someone, Set her free, If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway.
Schwarzenegger's fans:
If you love someone, Set her free, SHE'LL BE BACK!
Over possessive person :
If you love someone don't set her free.
HR specialist :
If you love someone set her free by Offering her VRS and other benefits Then out source her.
MBA :
If you love someone set her free instantaneously and look for others simultaneously
Psychologist :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back her super ego is dominant If she doesn't come back her id is supreme If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.
Somnabulist :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back it's a nightmare If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.
ERP functional expert :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back, map her into your system If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis
Finance expert :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.
Marketing Specialist :
If you love someone set her free If she comes back she has brand loyalty If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new market
Something really intresting...
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.THAT'S relativity.
Albert Einstein
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
- Franklin P. Jones
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
-Jean Cocturan
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday
always just exactly fits the newspaper.
- Jerry Seinfeld
"Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome."
Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is
in trouble again.
Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.
Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Forgive your enemies but remember their names.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Dont worry that the world ends today, its already tomorrow in Australia.
U learn in life when u lose
Albert Einstein
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
- Franklin P. Jones
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
-Jean Cocturan
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday
always just exactly fits the newspaper.
- Jerry Seinfeld
"Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome."
Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is
in trouble again.
Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.
Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Forgive your enemies but remember their names.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Dont worry that the world ends today, its already tomorrow in Australia.
U learn in life when u lose
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Roles in Heaven
Roles in Heaven :
Brahma
Systems Installation
Vishnu
Systems Administration & Support
Lakshmi
Finance and Accounts consultant
Saraswati
Training and Knowledge Management
Shiva
DBA (Crash Specialist)
Ganesh
Quality Assuarance & Documentation
Narada
Data transfer
Yama
Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant
Chitragupta
IDP & Personal Records
Apsaras
Downloadable Viruses
Devas
Mainframe Programmers
Surya
Solaris Administrator
Rakshasas
In house Hackers
Ravan
Internet Explorer WWWF
Kumbhakarnan
Zombie Process
Lakshman
Support Software and Backup
Hanuman
Linux/s390
Vaali
MS Windows
Sugreeva
DOS
Jatayu
Firewall
Dronacharya
System Programmer
Vishwamitra
Sr. Manager Projects
Shakuni
Annual appraisal & Promotion
Valmiki
Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)
Krishna
SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )
Dharmaraj Yudhishthira
ISO Consultant (CMM level 5)
Arjun
Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)
Abhimanyu
Trainee Programmer
Draupadi
Motivation & Team building
Bhima
MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM
Duryodhana
Microsoft product Written in VB
Karna
Contract programmer
Dhrutarashtra
Visual C++
Gandhari
Dreamweaver
100 Kauravas
Microsoft Service Packs and patches
Brahma
Systems Installation
Vishnu
Systems Administration & Support
Lakshmi
Finance and Accounts consultant
Saraswati
Training and Knowledge Management
Shiva
DBA (Crash Specialist)
Ganesh
Quality Assuarance & Documentation
Narada
Data transfer
Yama
Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant
Chitragupta
IDP & Personal Records
Apsaras
Downloadable Viruses
Devas
Mainframe Programmers
Surya
Solaris Administrator
Rakshasas
In house Hackers
Ravan
Internet Explorer WWWF
Kumbhakarnan
Zombie Process
Lakshman
Support Software and Backup
Hanuman
Linux/s390
Vaali
MS Windows
Sugreeva
DOS
Jatayu
Firewall
Dronacharya
System Programmer
Vishwamitra
Sr. Manager Projects
Shakuni
Annual appraisal & Promotion
Valmiki
Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)
Krishna
SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )
Dharmaraj Yudhishthira
ISO Consultant (CMM level 5)
Arjun
Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)
Abhimanyu
Trainee Programmer
Draupadi
Motivation & Team building
Bhima
MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM
Duryodhana
Microsoft product Written in VB
Karna
Contract programmer
Dhrutarashtra
Visual C++
Gandhari
Dreamweaver
100 Kauravas
Microsoft Service Packs and patches
People may actually write such applications!!
People actually write such applications!!!
This is an actual collection of leave letters and applications written by people.
1. A candidate's application: "This has reference to your advertisement
calling for a 'typist and an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both, I am applying for the post.
2. An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one week leave.
3. Another employee applied for half day leave as
follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
4. A friend of mine had written a leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request
you to leave me today"
5. A family friend of ours told an incident of his friend's letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare holiday to the school"
6. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day".
7. A covering note "I am enclosed herewith..."
8. Another leave letter written to Administration dept: "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
9. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
10. Letter writing: - "I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."
Hope u had a hearty laugh!
This is an actual collection of leave letters and applications written by people.
1. A candidate's application: "This has reference to your advertisement
calling for a 'typist and an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both, I am applying for the post.
2. An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one week leave.
3. Another employee applied for half day leave as
follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
4. A friend of mine had written a leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request
you to leave me today"
5. A family friend of ours told an incident of his friend's letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare holiday to the school"
6. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day".
7. A covering note "I am enclosed herewith..."
8. Another leave letter written to Administration dept: "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
9. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
10. Letter writing: - "I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."
Hope u had a hearty laugh!
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